Wednesday, December 08, 2004

CDC warning: new std

The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease. This disease, Gonorrhea Lectum, is contracted through repeating dangerous and high-risk behaviors.

Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed for the past 4 years, and in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from this especially virulent disease.

Cognitive sequellae of individuals infected with Gonorrhea Lectum include, but are not limited to:
Anti-social personality disorder traits;
delusions of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor;
chronic mangling of the English language;
extreme cognitive dissonance;
inability to incorporate new information;
pronounced xenophobia;
inability to accept responsibility for actions;
exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado;
ignorance of geography and history;
tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies;
and a strong propensity for categorical, all-or nothing behavior.

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