More on Wal-mart and hell

Let me say I would rather remain unattached the rest of my days on earth than meet a mate at Wal-mart singles night. A craze that started in Germany, Wal-mart singles night is spreading like a cancer throughout the world:

Romantically unattached customers who swing by between 6 and 8 P.M. are given a red bow for their cart (it indicates you're single and there to mingle); some locations even offer up a glass of champagne-or a rose to present to that eye-catching "item" you just gotta have. "Flirt points"-stations where you can taste romance-themed products like chocolates and wines-throughout the store make striking up a conversation with that cutie in the housewares section even easier.

(As I type this, my friend Becky is telling me "I want to go to that almost as much as I want to go to Hellhouse." We both agree the draw is similar in nature.)