California uber alles

So my *sigh* Governor made his state of the state address last night. It was, as one might expect, a call for no new taxes, elimination of employee protections, and so on.

Let me provide a brief translation of some passages:

. . . I do not like this budget at all. It does not solve our ongoing structural problem, because our deficit the following year will be even worse.

. . .

Let me tell you something. I am well aware there are lives behind those numbers. But I have a responsibility for the fiscal health of this state and for the honesty of its finances.

Translation: It's all about the bottom line, baby. I know lives are at stake, but frankly, I could give a shit. I want to save some money. Can you say Darwin? I knew you could.

The more we reward excellent teachers, the more our teachers will be excellent. The more we tolerate ineffective teachers, the more our teachers will be ineffective.

So, in the special session, I propose that a teacher's pay be tied to merit, not tenure. And I propose that a teacher's employment be tied to performance, not just showing up.

Translation: I think the teachers union should go fuck itself. What I really care about is how well our teachers are preparing students for standardized tests. Our new education policy? Four words: teach for the test.

Thanks to the Performance Review and the leadership of Secretary Rod Hickman, the Youth & Adult Correctional Agency - an agency with a $6 billion budget and 54,000 employees - will be the first agency to be reorganized. Its need is the most urgent. It is an agency in which there has been too much political influence, too much union control and too little management courage and accountability.

Translation: For that matter, all unions can go fuck themselves.

And we have other good news. We signed agreements with Indian gaming tribes that should provide about a billion dollars for transportation this year. Not only will this improve California's highways, it will also create 16,000 new jobs.

Translation: We made great progress in taxing sovereign nations, and we'll use that revenue to pay shit wages to folks so that we can continue our torrid love affair with the automobile.

Now, when I first came to California, the roads fascinated me. Californians can't get from place to place on little fairy wings. This is a car-centered state. And we need roads.

Translation: If we want to drive Ford Extinctions, we're going to do it. If you don't like it, you're a girlie man. And I just really wanted to figure out how to fit the word "fairy" into my speech somewhere.

I love riding my motorcycle along the Pacific Coast Highway - the freedom of the road and the smell of the sea. That's the California spirit.

. . .

Yes, we need conservation. Yes, we need renewable energy. But California also needs power plants and transmission lines. We need more of them and we need them as soon as possible.

Translation: Fuck you liberals. Unfettered greed is the American way. More, more, more! Have I mentioned that I have six Hummers?

Number of times Arnold used the phrase "special interests"? Seven. Anytime he was talking about someone who might disagree with him.

He also managed to use the phrase "the people" fifteen times to legitimize just about every hideous thing he mentioned. For example, "Ignore the lobbyists. Ignore the politics. And trust the people," or my favorite:

If we here in this chamber do not work together to reform the government, the people will rise up and reform it themselves. And you know something. I will join them. And I will fight by their side.

Give me a fucking break Arnold. No revolution is immanent. No one here is going to rise up, and you are not going to fight by anyone's side. This is not an action movie.

And frankly, there is no such thing as "the people," and were there, you would not be of it.

Update: The Talent Show has a post on State Treasurer Angelides' ad campaign against Arnie's broken promises.