Fuck Ohio; let's dance

It's been pointed out to me that I have a running resentment about the inaugural. I'll admit I do think 40 million dollars (not counting security) is an excessive amount of money to spend on a coronation big fuckfest of a party. What's more, I hate that it's been designated a "National Special Security Event" (I can't even tell you how grateful I am that I no longer live in Washington--witnessing the celebration after Gulf War I was enough--a celebration, I might add, that resulted in Pennsylvania Avenue caving in because it could not withstand the weight of the victory tanks rolling down the road. No lie.) Finally, it makes me unspeakably sad that people are finding my website after searching for "commander and chief ball" and "dress code."

So yeah...I have a resentment. And on that note, I bring you more Kid Rock lyrics:

One day I'll probably walk with a limp
And drive a big Lincoln
Wearing an unbuttoned shirt
And be a fifty five year old pervert
But for now rap's the occupation
But watch one day I'll be Pimp Of The Nation
Hoes are rustlic
Daddy's in the house
We got hoes and hoes and hoes
Prices are low
We pratically given the coochie coo away
Shake the booty
Shake that booty
Its not a bake sale
Its a cake sell
God Damn It
Pimp of the Nation, I could be it
As a matter of a fact, I for see it
But only pimpin hoes with the big tush
While you be left pimpin Barbra Bush

(hat tip to Simply Appalling)

Shouldn't we be giving that money to tsunami relief efforts some of you are wondering I know. Well, the bipartisan answer seems to be: No ma'am!

"I don't think it will help anything in Sri Lanka if the balls were, you know, peeled back in terms of the inauguration," former President Bush said Monday on CNN's "Larry King Live." "I think they're separate questions, and the country - our country - can do a lot of things at the same time." [I, on the other hand, am hard pressed to walk and chew gum simultaneously.]

Clinton said on the same program: "I voted for the other fellow, but President Bush won this election fair and square. And he ought to - he ought to be able to have his inaugural. And his supporters should be able to celebrate it, however they see fit. And I don't think that it will detract one red cent from the money that we will give privately or publicly to this relief effort."