Because every sperm really is sacred

We don't miss a chance to call readers' attentions to a good story about them. In the news today: quite an astonishing story about a woman who impregnated herself with sperm that she somehow salvaged from an oral sex act (I fear to think) and two years later won child support from the poor unsuspecting donor who seems to have purchased himself the world's most expensive hummer. He's now suing for emotional distress, though the courts will not hear a theft suit:

The judges backed the lower court decision to dismiss the fraud and theft claims, agreeing with Irons that she didn't steal the sperm.

"She asserts that when plaintiff 'delivered' his sperm, it was a gift--an absolute and irrevocable transfer of title to property from a donor to a donee," the decision said. "There was no agreement that the original deposit would be returned upon request."

My oh my oh my. More reason not to trust women who won't swallow I suppose. In any case, do be careful boys. And here I used to complain that my ex never gave me anything.