It's not that cell phones are bad for you...

...they just damage your DNA. But not to worry--while a British commissioned study shows that the radiation from mobiles can damage DNA to an irreparable degree, and the next generation of cells is also affected, and mutated cells can cause cancer, there's no reason to assume a health risk. (Though "children should only use mobile phones in emergencies.") Gives whole new meaning to the term "cell phone."