Everyone needs a role model

It just so happens that my latest is a hamster.

And on the seventh day, god rested

Okay, I know the blognoscenti are all over this one, but I can't help but post it here as well. Apparently, this past Sunday, some overly zealous wanna-be Daniel figure, upon crawling into a lion's cage in Kiev and shouting "God will save me, if he exists," became lunchmeat. Reuters reports, "A lioness went straight for him, knocked him down and severed his carotid artery."

Um yeah. And if he doesn't, well...you're meat. So much for Pascal's wager, huh?


(Thanks to Shakespeare's Sis for the story)

You know it's going to be one of those days...

...when you can't get out of your own parking lot because the batteries in your clicker have died overnight.

Yeah.

Leaving tonight for DC with my squeeze. He's never been there; I haven't been there in over a year. Yay for cheap airfares.

A sign of how things are going at work.

I'm not sure I'd have the surgery, honestly. Maybe after my big September deadline.

But does she shave her legs?

That's what I want to know.

Making bold new political headway in the arena of male fantasy--DC comics has announced that the latest incarnation of Batwoman is a dyke.



DC is describing her as a "lesbian socialite by night and a crime fighter by later in the night." Yeah.

It's like this

That's all I'm saying. Just that.

I have the coolest boyfriend ever

He just sent me an email saying he read my blog and bought me a blunderbuss domain. I think that may qualify as the second greatest present I've ever gotten.

Here's George Jetson

You know that moment at the beginning of the Jetsons when George Jetson is taking Astro for a walk on the automatic sidewalk and he can't keep up with the conveyer belt and starts spinning around and around?

That's exactly how I feel today. Like I'm trying to fit a size twelve life into a size eight dress.

But you know what? I've got Mission of Burma playing, and I'll be damned if it's not making me feel better. Academy Fight Song has lost nothing in the more than twenty years since it came out.

And I bought tickets to see the Walkmen in a couple of weeks yesterday. And that makes me feel better too.

And it's Friday.

And I look cute today. (I maintain just because someone has sucked all of the oxygen out of the room is no reason not to wear lipstick.)

The things I think about at work

I know I used to be a political blogger once upon a time. And someday I will return to that in a more serious way (in the meantime, just be aware that I haven't forgotten the world is still going to hell). But it's all I can do to blog these ridiculous orts while I'm as busy as I've been.

Today was one of those days at work where everyone was just in my hair and I couldn't seem to dispense with anything (task or person) easily. Last week when I was having a day like this, K sent me an email with this picture:

18th Cent. flintlock Blunderbuss that scatters shot, nails, rocks, ceramic fragments or whatever through a crowd.

And now when I get frustrated I think about how great it would be to have a blunderbuss. And then I think "blunderbuss...hee hee...blunderbuss..." and before I know it, I've been cheered up.

(As an aside, I got to thinking today that Blunderbuss would be a great name for a literary magazine or a blog. It's a sort of goulash shrapnel idea. Think about it for a minute--it's like scrapbooking for arsonists or something.)

But today the blunderbuss fantasy wasn't enough. As more and more people kept popping into my doorway, the fantasy today began taking on a Godzilla-ish cast. I so totally wish I could blow lethal fire through my nostrils. Never mind killing people by pelting them with tiny pieces of fiestaware, I want to be able to incinerate them without taking my hands off the keyboard.

So that's where I'm at. Oh, and Ken Lay is going to jail. So it's not all bad.

Quote of the day

From Nick:

"Here's an interesting fact: If you wish to become a resident of this country, you must find an elderly doctor to touch you just behind the testicals while you cough."

My friends are all brilliant

Okay, I suppose it's a cop-out that all I seem to do is repost emails I get from my friends lately. But it's not just because I'm drowning in work. It's also that my friends are damn funny. This comes from an email C sent me yesterday, and it's just a great paragraph:

i've been checking your blog sporadically enough to have heard about k (hooray for great companionship!), his wreck (boo for fear and stress and anxiety) and his new elbow (hooray for medical science!). it's funny to me to realize that i don't really know anything about your life, but to feel like i do. blogs are so great. almost as great as faulkner, with whom i am having some kind of post-graduate-school love affair. why did i never realize that his writing is really, truly beautiful? (perhaps because i was always so busy being grateful that at least southerners are more fucked up than mormons. thank god somebody is.)

Just click your heels together...

The man on the left, the one wearing a fabulous vintage chiffon-lined Dior gold lame gown over a silk Vera Wang empire waist tulle cocktail dress, accessorized with a 3-foot beaded peaked House of Whoville hat, and the ruby slippers Judy Garland wore in the Wizard of Oz, is worried that The Da Vinci Code might make the Roman Catholic Church look foolish.

(I got the above from my friend SK and in my opinion, the shoes really make it.)

5-7-5

From Master Kim comes word of Newsweek's latest feature--celebrity haiku (you have to scroll down to the bottom of the page):

Ashlee Nose Best
That bump on my schnoz,
like my sister's spouse, is gone.
Nose job? I am coy.

Clean-Plate Club
Like a waterfall,
my confession tumbles forth:
I don't eat, like, ever.

Dawn of the Spawn
Out, out, damned K-Fed!
Wait, don't go: impregnate me,
baby, one more time.

I like it.

W stands for "the worm turns"

President Bush . . . has a positive job approval in just three of the 50 United States. This according to 50 separate but concurrent statewide public opinion polls conducted by SurveyUSA for its media clients across the country. Only residents of Utah, Wyoming and Idaho view the president favorably.

Dog dag

So K is collecting daguerreotypes, and like any good collector, surfing e-bay daily for the pickings. (Dags, I only found out from him, are not reproducible. The image is the plate. And they take two minutes to expose, so the subjects have to stay still for the whole time. Thus some people used braces to hold people in place, and you rarely see a picture with an animal.)

Today he sends me the below.


Which apparently comes with this explanatory note


"Sylvester Beardsley, Louise Beardsley, Grandma Ann Beardsley's dog. When she went away, she missed him just like she did the kids. When he died, they had his skin tanned and Aunt Nettie Hogan's feet were wrapped in (it) the skin when she was buried."

How fantastic is that?

We'll always have Paris

Those bunnies are at it again. This time Angry Alien gives us Casablanca. (This and the surrounding posts brought to you by my favorite retoucher.)

Quote of the day

"Quality is not for everyone."

We interrupt our regularly scheduled program

of lamentation and gnashing of teeth for a truly silly video of talking cats.

One tough bitch

Via Boing Boing comes the story of the 80-year-old woman who got this tattooed on her chest. And yes, she did get a senior discount at the tattoo parlor.

More on swoops and swoopers

Below I parenthetically muse "what is a fell swoop anyway?" and of course, given who my friends are, I immediately got two answers to my question. I rather like the idea that a fell swoop is a speedy and fatal thing.

Then today, I came across this description of writers as swoopers and bashers, which seemed worth sharing.

And yes, my work life continues in a "the beatings will continue until morale improves" sort of fashion. Next week will be better. Tomorrow, I descend into a conference room for three days because, god knows, I haven't spent enough time in meetings lately. Sigh.

I always knew he was French

From Frat Boy's "but who will we get to do the yard work" speech last night:

Americans are bound together by our shared ideals, an appreciation of our history, respect for the flag we fly, and an ability to speak and write the English language.

Um...yeah...um...Unless you're president. If you're president, you only need to respect the flag; you get a pass on the other two.

The full text of the speech is available on WorldNetDaily, whose fantastically xenophobic perspective reveals itself in the very first line--the title "Invasion USA." I can't even bring myself to paste in their "is that the sound of jackboots I hear" public opinion poll everyone is citing today.

Can you hear me sighing over here?

Anyway I am too busy at work to really climb up on my soap box for a harangue of any duration. Let me just extract this section of the speech. It's worth reading all the way through even though it's long:

By the end of 2008, we will increase the number of Border Patrol officers by an additional 6,000. When these new agents are deployed, we will have more than doubled the size of the Border Patrol during my presidency.

At the same time, we are launching the most technologically advanced border security initiative in American history. We will construct high-tech fences in urban corridors, and build new patrol roads and barriers in rural areas. We will employ motion sensors infrared cameras and unmanned aerial vehicles to prevent illegal crossings. America has the best technology in the world and we will ensure that the Border Patrol has the technology they need to do their job and secure our border.

Training thousands of new Border Patrol agents and bringing the most advanced technology to the border will take time. Yet the need to secure our border is urgent. So I am announcing several immediate steps to strengthen border enforcement during this period of transition:

One way to help during this transition is to use the National Guard. So in coordination with governors, up to 6,000 Guard members will be deployed to our southern border. The Border Patrol will remain in the lead. The Guard will assist the Border Patrol by operating surveillance systems analyzing intelligence installing fences and vehicle barriers building patrol roads and providing training. Guard units will not be involved in direct law enforcement activities that duty will be done by the Border Patrol. This initial commitment of Guard members would last for a period of one year. After that, the number of Guard forces will be reduced as new Border Patrol agents and new technologies come online. It is important for Americans to know that we have enough Guard forces to win the war on terror, respond to natural disasters, and help secure our border.

The United States is not going to militarize the southern border. Mexico is our neighbor, and our friend.

Help me! I'm trapped in a dystopic novel! War is peace. Freedom is slavery. (And it's not "militarization" if we're not actively dropping bombs on people, or something.)

As for me, work will set me free, so I'm getting back to it.

Failure at transnational culture

That's what Andrea is calling it. Me--I'm in a meeting most of the day, so that's what I've got for you right now.

From our Albuquerque correspondent

I just read Shane's quote at NMTE and spat my drink @ the screen. Actually just got back from the mechanic myself but was not so fabulously appointed. If, however, I had two buttholes, I would be getting f*d in both of them, trying to score a new fan in the desert heat. Popular item out here, I see.

Getting fucked--Sometimes a good thing. Sometimes not so good.

Film at eleven

Okay, I was going to add this link under an "update" header below, but White Bear inspired me to give it it's own post. More about K's crash and K himself can be found here. Everyone go say hello to my boyfriend and boost his hits for the day.

And Carrie--yes, he's good with a screwdriver--though he's better with a camera. My one-line review is, "How can you not like a guy who owns guns and reads Dwell magazine?" He's smart as hell but not an academic, and given my own temperament, that's probably good (I once ground a seminar discussion to a screeching halt when, in the middle of a discussion about whether or not we understand everything through language, I asked, "Am I the only one who's had good sex in here? Describe an orgasm in language." Yeah.)

Anyway, I have a huge crush on him, and so far, so good.

Line of the day

Shane on finding out his car repair is relatively minor:

"Can I tell you how happy I am? I'm as happy as a sissy with two butt holes that it's my thermostat and not my head gasket that needs repairing."

The elbow

Below I make reference to what an outstanding investment good motorcycle gear is, and I am inspired to explain myself a bit more clearly if only to properly make sense of these photographs. They are taken with a phone and don't do the hardware complete justice, but they're worth sharing nonetheless.



What you see here is my boyfriend's arm. It didn't always look like that. Yes, always one to favor the dramatic, I managed to obtain a boyfriend and a patient almost at one fell swoop. (What is a "fell swoop" anyway?) For his part, he picked up some swell hardware on his way to my apartment.

(Those who know me, know that I am no stranger to visiting lovers in the trauma unit. I'm calling it progress that K ended up there because of an accident rather than a "head in natural gas oven" type of incident.) In any case, said bf is quite on the mend, thanks in part I do believe, to my excellent nursing skills (which happily are no longer needed).
You can't really see the full Steve Austin glory of the thing here, but it does look like someone threw down a handful of stuff from a bargain bin at Home Depot. Being a retoucher, he annotated the x-rays for you. Myself, my text would have read more like "can you believe that shit?"

We have determined that if he were in a Dick Tracy story line, he would be called "the elbow."

"How shall the heart be reconciled...

...to its feast of losses?"

Stanley Kunitz died yesterday at 100.

Here is one of his for you:

Hornworm: Autumn Lamentation

Since that first morning when I crawled
into the world, a naked grubby thing,
and found the world unkind,
my dearest faith has been that this
is but a trial: I shall be changed.
In my imaginings I have already spent
my brooding winter underground,
unfolded silky powdered wings, and climbed
into the air, free as a puff of cloud
to sail over the steaming fields,
alighting anywhere I pleased,
thrusting into deep tubular flowers.

It is not so: there may be nectar
in those cups, but not for me.
All day, all night, I carry on my back
embedded in my flesh, two rows
of little white cocoons,
so neatly stacked
they look like eggs in a crate.
And I am eaten half away.

If I can gather strength enough
I'll try to burrow under a stone
and spin myself a purse
in which to sleep away the cold;
though when the sun kisses the earth
again, I know I won't be there.
Instead, out of my chrysalis
will break, like robbers from a tomb,
a swarm of parasitic flies,
leaving my wasted husk behind.

Sir, you with the red snippers
in your hand, hovering over me,
casting your shadow, I greet you,
whether you come as an angel of death
or of mercy. But tell me,
before you choose to slice me in two:
Who can understand the ways
of the Great Worm in the Sky?

(Thanks to Kim for the email.)

Continuing in the gustatory theme

I don't subscribe the The Atlantic, and I have precious little extra reading time these days--nonetheless, I plan to pick up the latest issue because any article titled "Horsemen of the Esophagus" (about "competitive eating") deserves to be read. (Thanks to B for the tip.)

A funny thing happened on the way to the forum

The story isn't necessarily one I want to tell right here except to say we can draw two conclusions from the past few weeks: 1. it's worth spending lots of money on good motorcycle gear, and 2. there's not a lot you can do for yourself without thumbs. (Let me further explain, lest I give any of my friends the wrong impression, my part in the drama has been that of the sexy nurse, not the Russian "it's only a flesh wound" daredevil.)

This does also happen to be the busiest month of the two year cycle at my job on top of that, and next week is our biennial conference which basically means I'll be locked in a big room at the Marriott for eight days, after which time, regular blogging will recommence.

In the meantime, I was inspired to finally come back from the dead by the entry I just read over at Deep End Dining about the Weird Food Fest in Van Nuys.


Beef pizzle--yes, it is what you think it is.

P.S. Said Russian observes, "It's better to have two half hands than one full hand," which I would say means basically a half hand in the hand is worth one in the bush. Oh no, scratch that. I think I'm off base there.

Best email paragraph all week

From B:

Jakarta was incredible--never seen such crowded streets--just walking is terrifying--it smells like shit and jasmine and there are dogs and horribly poverty-stricken people everywhere--an average block goes like this: Gucci flagship store, tin shack, Kentucky Fried Chicken, Mosque, tin food stall, Chanel, pile of poop, beautifully painted food stall, brocade umbrellas, tropical flowers, pile of poop, dogs, dogs, dogs....

What do you mean, "we," white man?

Dr. Bitch brings us the inspiring news that Cecilia Fire Thunder of the Oglala Sioux says she is going to open a Planned Parenthood clinic on Pine Ridge Reservation. You go, Ms. Fire Thunder!

If you're inspired to donate, Prof. B has the info:

The mailing address is:

Oglala Sioux Tribe
ATTN: President Fire Thunder
P. O. Box 2070
Pine Ridge, SD 57770

or

ATTN: PRESIDENT FIRE THUNDER
PO BOX 990
Martin, SD 57751

For donations specifically for the Planned Parenthood clinic, make checks out to OST Planned Parenthood Cecelia Fire Thunder. General donations may be made out to the Oglala Sioux Tribe.

(On a related note, all of the sudden it seems like half the women I know are having babies. Odd. I would say it's something in the water, except they're nation-wide. Congrats to all you mommies-to-be.)

What people say about blogging

If you're a blogger, you know that one of the things people often remark when first seeing your blog (and understand here that while I seem to have become the sometime-blogger lately, there was a time when I was more consistent and blogged at a greater volume)--anyway, one of the things people say is "Gee, you must have a lot of time on your hands" or "I wish I had that much time on my hands" or the like. (Nevermind that these same folks watch several hours of TV a night.)

Well, I just want to set the record straight. Relative to some other people, we really don't have that much time on our hands.

Grief bacon

Vidlit has a new piece for The Meaning of Tingo, one of those books that talks about extraordinary words in all different languages. As tends to be the case, my favorite is from German. The last time such a book was being promoted, my favorite word was korinthenkacker, which means "raisin shitter." I only wish I'd learned the word before I was done with my PhD (read "committee"). My favorite from this piece is kummerspeck, a word that means the weight you gain during times of emotional stress, it translates to "grief bacon."

Looks like a solar system; acts like a supernova

Marc sent me this cool link illustrating where our taxes go. I mean, just in case you were feeling cheerful or something.

I do believe this is the leather anniversary

Today is the third anniversary of the war in Iraq. Survey says:

An overwhelming majority of 72% of American troops serving in Iraq think the U.S. should exit the country within the next year, and more than one in four say the troops should leave immediately, a new Le Moyne College/Zogby International survey shows.

The poll, conducted in conjunction with Le Moyne College’s Center for Peace and Global Studies, showed that 29% of the respondents, serving in various branches of the armed forces, said the U.S. should leave Iraq "immediately," while another 22% said they should leave in the next six months. Another 21% said troops should be out between six and 12 months, while 23% said they should stay "as long as they are needed."

Different branches had quite different sentiments on the question, the poll shows. While 89% of reserves and 82% of those in the National Guard said the U.S. should leave Iraq within a year, 58% of Marines think so. Seven in ten of those in the regular Army thought the U.S. should leave Iraq in the next year. Moreover, about three-quarters of those in National Guard and Reserve units favor withdrawal within six months, just 15% of Marines felt that way. About half of those in the regular Army favored withdrawal from Iraq in the next six months.

If it were a marriage, well, we'd be divorced by now, I'm thinking.

Humor that is so very not funny

So they just had the annual Gridiron Dinner where reporters and politicians get together and yuk it up. Here are some excerpts:

From young Illinois Sen. Barack Obama, making fun of his fellow Democrats: "Some say Democrats don't stand for anything. That's unfair; we DO stand for anything." And ending with a joke about himself and his own soaring, but unsubstantiated ratings: "Most of all, I want to thank you for your coverage in anticipation of a great career. When I actually DO something, I'll let you know."

From President George W. Bush, saying he told huntsman Dick Cheney, "Dick, I've got an approval rating of 38 percent and you shoot the only trial lawyer in the country who likes me."

. . .

Then, on stage, there were the musical and sometimes dancing skits -- all with original words written by the 65 journalist club members and sung by members and a few semi-pro singers. In one touching, dark and foreboding satire, a Polish peasant comes out wondering, "An American prison in Poland. Sounds crazy, no? But here it is, in our own little shtetl, our own little village." The answer is "Rendition!" one of the many secretive acts of this administration in which prisoners are taken to other countries where they can be tortured or mistreated without American fingerprints.

I wish so much I were making this up folks; I really do. Truly I am flabbergasted.

Myself I've always favored "dumbfuck"

Pew's latest poll has Bush's "approval rating" (a funny thing to call it at this point, really) at 33%, a number that has this citizen smiling. That's pretty damn low, folks. I mean, if the presidency were a golf game, he'd be in pretty good shape because he's coming in well below par, I'd say.

Even better--how can you not be cheered by a report on public perceptions of Bush (and Congress) that has a section titled "In a Word...Incompetent"?:

Until now, the most frequently offered word to describe the president was "honest," but this comes up far less often today than in the past. Other positive traits such as "integrity" are also cited less, and virtually no respondent used superlatives such as "excellent" or "great" ­ terms that came up fairly often in previous surveys.

The single word most frequently associated with George W. Bush today is "incompetent,"and close behind are two other increasingly mentioned descriptors: "idiot" and "liar."

Hee hee.

Why people think Hollywood is filled with commies

Because of moments like this one on Boston Legal. I don't watch the show (or really honestly much of any TV these days) but I may have to start.

Documenting the atrocities

Salon has the entire collection of Abu Ghraib photos online along with the rest of their coverage. I have neither the time nor the stomach to go through all of it. I began to and just couldn't do it.

A metaphor for so much

We all came from somewhere else

Tomorrow you should call Arlen Specter's Judiciary Committee Office ((202) 224-5225) and tell him you are opposed to his proposed "gold card" immigration legislation. NAOC has more on the legislation itself and what to say. Among other things, the legislation proposes to give immigrants a "gold card" enabling them to stay in the country as long as they are working but not putting them on any kind of path to obtain a green card.

My friends in the know say this: "Specter is still mainly hearing from rabid anti-immigrant zealots, and he's actually movable if he hears enough from level-headed folks. Everything we're hearing from our DC allies is that personal calls are making a significant difference."

More on my job

So I just got forwarded a super-serious email thread where one of my coworkers is responding to an upset person about a very serious issue (I'd call the upset person's tone acrid). The upset person was using this sig line "Actus non facit reum nisi mens est rea," which I asked about (since my Latin teacher died in the middle of the school year), and was sent this explanatory URL. Yeah.

Why I love my job

My conversation with a coworker just now:

Me: So when is she due?
S: June.
Me: Are you excited?
S: Oh yes.
Me: Are you afraid?
S: Afraid? Afraid of what?
Me: You're so pragmatic. Just afraid. I'd be afraid.
S: Well, sure. The first time you do anything you're afraid, right?
Me: I guess.
S: I mean the first time I went to jail I was afraid. But after a few times, it got easier.

You know you live in LA when...

You find yourself saying "stupid Armenian drivers."

One thing about this city--you'll fight prejudices you didn't even know existed before you moved here.

Since I already know I'm going to hell...

I wasn't going to blog this one because it seemed too sick even for me. But I do love it and so I sent it to a couple people and Andrea says I really should so here.

Those crazy Norwegians

Courtesy of After School Snack comes the video of the week. If last week belonged to those crazy VW people (thanks to Yelladog), this week belongs to Hurra Torpedo. What joy really.

On a personal note

I think it's got to be a really bad sign that I'm listening to Godsmack this morning on the headphones. What's up with that? I hope I'm not turning into some kind of death metal girl.

Non sequitor:
And another thing--this weekend it occured to me that the older I get the more I become easy to please. Most of my life I kind of prided myself on being hard to please (like that somehow distinguished me from the oh-so-easy-to-please hoi polloi). And this weekend I realized, I'm not that girl anymore. I mean, why not be easily pleased? Perhaps it's the creeping corrupting influence of the west coast--I don't know.

Update: Okay, the moment passed. Back to PJ Harvey. No one needs to worry.

Smack on

The Onion has the most cogent story covering the Dems I've seen in some time (it's from last week)--"Democrats Vow Not To Give Up Hopelessness":

In a press conference on the steps of the Capitol Monday, Congressional Democrats announced that, despite the scandals plaguing the Republican Party and widespread calls for change in Washington, their party will remain true to its hopeless direction.

. . .

"We can lose this," Reid added. "All it takes is a little lack of backbone."

It's a thin line between reality and parody sometimes, that's all I'm sayin'.

Hee hee

Someone found my blog by googling "best location to hunt feral pigs in wisconsin"

A gradual, noxious creeping

Is how Robert Byrd described the erosion of freedom on the occasion of today's passing of the Diminishment of Civil Liberties Act. Ten Senators, just ten, voted nay. Of course, that's ten times the one (Feingold) who voted against the Patriot Act at its inception. So let's thank:

Daniel Akaka (D-HI)
Jeff Bingaman (D-NM)
Robert Byrd (D-WV)
Russ Feingold (D-WI)
Tom Harkin (D-IA)
Jim Jeffords (I-VT)
Patrick Leahy (D-VT)
Carl Levin (D-MI)
Patty Murray (D-WA)
Ron Wyden (D-OR)

If only it weren't so cold in Vermont.

What is it about Florida?

First Celebration, now Tom Monaghan has plans to build a 35,000-person Catholic city--no porn on TV, no contraception in the pharmacy. No fun, my babe, no fun.

Words to live by

So one of my friends (oh let me lament the paucity of the English language) told me his ten life mantras, and it got me to thinking about mine. Which got me thinking about the things we say to ourselves in general through the years.

Here are some of my mantras:

Nature abhors a vacuum.
There's no wrong reason to do the right thing.
It's never as good as you hoped or as bad as you feared.
If you can't change your life, you can at least change your hair.
I could get hit by a bus tomorrow.

And said friend's:

1. It's great to be alive and in the city.
2. If you're careful enough, nothing good or bad will happen to you.
3. The journey is the destination.
4. Nothing makes sense anymore except for art.
5. Panic is not an option.
6. Stay free as long as you can.
7. This area is as safe as the fears you possess.
8. Hesitation is the enemy of spontaneity.
9. What would you attempt to do if you know you could not fail?
10. Be audacious.

Once upon a time I dated a guy whose mantra was "Do it until it doesn't feel good anymore...And then do it one more time just to make sure it doesn't feel good." Fun times.

So what about y'all? What are some of your life mantras? I've become sort of interested in this. I'm thinking it could make a good book. Sort of like postsecret only for inspiration. (I mean, if you're the kind of person who gets how "I could get hit by a bus tomorrow" is actually quite inspiring.)

Even I am not that much of a policy wonk

I'm wishing I had a copy of the whole article though.

Pirates and Emperors

As Jon, who sent me the link, says, it's Schoolhouse Rock for the 21st century (inspired by Chomsky, no less).

I know I resist change, but

Ew

The sort of story that makes my head explode

I can't even muster a commentary for this one. The leader from an AP story today:

Wal-Mart's chief executive told America's governors on Sunday that he needs their help to make health care more affordable and accessible for the retail giant's 1.3 million U.S. employees because the company can't do it alone.

Lee Scott said Wal-Mart's health care costs have risen 19 percent in each of the last three years and that it's only a matter of time before it, along with other businesses, cannot sustain rising costs.

"We know our benefits at Wal-Mart stores are not perfect," Scott told the National Governors Association. "Do we want more of our associates' kids on our health plans? Of course we do."

Later on in the story Scott talks about the bills passed in more than 20 states that require a certain percentage of payroll be paid on benefits saying, "I believe what we're seeing is a little too much politics." I really think people should just be summarily slapped across the face when they use the word "politics" to describe the motives or actions of anyone they disagree with. Greedy fucker.

So far, so good

I've recently adopted the colloquialism "so far, so good" from somewhere. So the other day I'm talking to my coworker about something and I say, "so far, so good" and she asks if I've ever seen the movie La Haine. From the movie:

Heard about the guy who fell off a skyscraper? On his way down past each floor, he kept saying to reassure himself: So far so good... so far so good... so far so good. How you fall doesn't matter. It's how you land!

Why I love my job

So there’s something wrong with our smoke alarm system, such that the smoke detector at the top of the stairs (adjacent to my office) emits a high pitched, highly annoying beeping noise at regular intervals. I just went downstairs to ask Tom about it. Tom is our comptroller but he also deals with physical plant stuff. He is old as dirt and one of the biggest curmudgeons I’ve ever met--as in, he can say "Bah humbug" and it sounds perfectly natural. He also adores me.

Me: Tom, at the top of the stairs…

Tom: Yes Travis. We know.

Me: It’s just that it’s annoying.

Tom: Yes Travis. We know.

Me: Do we have any idea of when it will be fixed?

Tom: The guy is coming out tomorrow.

Me: Well, thank god.

Tom: Of course, there’s no telling if he’ll be able to fix it tomorrow.

Me: Tom, it’s so fucking annoying.

Tom stares at me.

Me: It’s fucking annoying Tom!! I swear to you—I’m gonna blow my brains out if I have to work with that for much longer.

Tom: Oh Travis. You’re always saying that. One day I’m just going to bring you the gun.

Me: Sigh.

Tom: At least you should feel protected. If there’s a fire, you know it’s working.

Me: Okay, I’ll try to look at the bright side. You know that doesn’t come naturally to me.

Tom: You’re a jewel Travis.

Me, having not heard: Huh?

Tom: You’re just a jewel.

Why DVDs are so popular

People who know me know that one of the things I consider symptomatic of the decline of civilization in general is the fact that (at least in LA) people seem to think it's okay to get their cell phones in a movie theater. It's bad enough that there are these eerie blue glows from time to time in your peripheral vision as someone or another texts their friends, but then the stage whisper calls ("I'm in a movie. Can I call you back..."). For fuck's sake. Is it the pope or something? Are you the president? Jesus. Just turn the damn thing off for two hours.

But I love seeing movies on the big screen and I persist.

So last night, it's not a phone call. Oh no. Nothing so low key as that. I'm watching the Pink Panther (yeah, it was pretty lame) and there's this guy coughing. Not really coughing like a cough you might expect--coughing like wild animal noises coughing--I really shouldn't be out in public, code blue, here comes a chunk of my esophagus coughing. Outside of critical care units in hospital I don't know if I've ever heard such noises.

Call it a measure of the poorness of the movie or the fine-ness of the company, but rather than bugging me, it amused the hell out of me. In fact, my own laughter must have been at least as disruptive as the esophagus-cougher. I'm going to hell, I know (but I have connections down there, so I think I'll be alright.)

In honor of the South Dakota decision

I'm learning to shoot a gun on Saturday.


Yella says, "Any Jew who doesn't know how to shoot is living in denial of history," and with him on that. (As an aside, I just popped over there, and ran into the post linked to right there. Y and I are totally psychic blogging today.)

(Maybe I'll rent Badlands Sunday just to round out the experience.)

Friday advice blogging

Via yakcat--Penelope Dullaghan's advice project.

Pick of the week

First let me say, we are all benefiting from Andrea's jobless period. It's like having my own personal odd Internet feed. The best of this week's offerings by far is the series of cat paintings by Louis Wain, an illustrator who suffered from late-onset schizophrenia. Go look. I'm with Andrea on this one, I like them so much it makes me nervous too.

(And people wonder why I've ended up with so many off the charts crazy guys.)

For my sisters in South Dakota

From Popgadget comes the link to the Emergency Contraception website. The site is run by Princeton's Office of Population Research. Here's a blurb:

In many countries, but not the United States, emergency contraceptive pills ("morning after pills") are available from a pharmacy without a prescription. For the United States, we maintain a directory of providers who have informed our office that they are willing to provide information about and prescribe emergency contraceptives. We also maintain a directory of emergency contraceptive pills available in each country.

That's about as positive as I can be on the whole subject of reproductive rights today.

Fucking South Dakota

So my dad was from South Dakota. A strange thing for a Russian Jew, I know, but maybe it reminded his dad of Siberia or something. Something about the desolate cold. Today, of course, I am feeling nothing but grateful that my father moved from SD to DC.

Andrea, too, is feeling grateful as she turned down a job offer in Vermilion, South Dakota just recently. From her email to me: "Jews belong near a border. I have to keep reminding myself of that. And in the desert is also good for jews. Not Vermilion. Not lands named 'bad.' And definitely not where you have to open an abortion clinic in your own basement."

My dad used to say: I don't know if people live longer in the midwest or it just feels that way (with apologies to my Madison and Chi-town buddies out there).

Thursday nudist blogging

Hee hee hee!

We can rebuild them...

It seems that the first two US workers have had chips implanted transdermally so that they can be identified to enter the company's strong room. The Guardian has an editorial on the story (thank you Jeff).

Monbiot paints a fairly decent picture of the creeping machine of the state, but he's too optimistic by far when he says stuff like:

I don't believe that you or I or most comfortable, mentally competent people will be forced to wear a tag. But it will become an increasingly acceptable means of tracking and identifying people who could be a danger to themselves, or who could be at risk of sudden illness or disappearance, or who are otherwise hard for companies or governments to control. They will, on the whole, be people whose political voice is muted.

As I wrote in January when confronted with the security clusterfuck at Orlando airport, the fact is that enough people don't give a crap about their privacy and civil liberties that it gives them a toehold to press everyone else to get a chip or an eyeprint or whatever.

It's late and I'm too tired to say much more except--Could this be creepier?

Fuck

Fuck, fuck, fuck. Fucking South Dakota.

Almost as good as the crazy cat lady

From Andrea comes news of the Super Mom action figure.
For sure a gift item for some of the folks I know.

The line of the month

From a conversation with Andrea tonight: "Well sure. I mean, you get vulnerable and then they rip your heart out like a tampon string."

God I love that girl.

But how do you really feel, Henry?

Call it nostalgia for my old hometown, but I've always had a soft spot for Henry Rollins (he's a DC boy, dontcha know). Conor sent me a story about Rollins getting reported to the Australian government for reading Jihad on a flight. It seems the man sitting next to him called a National Security hotline and reported Rollins as a potential terrorist threat. Rollins' journal entry about it is pretty funny. First of all, the government woman who wrote him was oddly wry about it:

I hope this finds you before you leave Australia as I think its something that won't surprise you but might give you a smile when you are sitting in a hotel room. I work in one of those Government areas that deals with anti terrorism matters. A fine service is provided but unfortunately we get to read a lot of things submitted by lunatics. The Australian Government set up the National Security Hotline to report terrorists.

The person who sat next to you on the flight from New Zealand does not agree with your politics or choice of reading and so nominated you as a possible threat. As they were too cowardly or stupid to leave their details I can'’t call them to discuss their idiocy with them.

Can you fathom getting such a letter in the US. And then there's Rollins' response to her:

I was reading a book called Jihad by Ahmed Rashid which is a history of Central Asia. I didn't speak to the man next to me past how do you do. I think Ahmed Rashid is published by Yale University Press. Bush's alma mater. Please tell your government and everyone in your office to go fuck themselves. Tell them twice. If your boss is looking for something to do, you can tell him I suggest he go fuck himself. Baghdad's safer than my hometown and your PM is a sissy. You have a nice night.

I mean, I would say, "Henry, lighten up," but then, he wouldn't be Henry Rollins would he?

A is for AMY who fell down some stairs

I've been the laziest blogger even as the news has been poring in faster than a motivated one could post it. There was that workgroup meeting last week and then the three-day weekend. But here I am. I hope to get some time today to post a "don't let the door hit you in the ass" comment about Lawrence Summers (among other things), but in the meantime, let me just wish everyone a happy Edward Gorey's birthday.

What doesn't kill us, makes us stronger

I'm in the middle of another one of those three-day workgroup meetings. Day one down; two to go. I have that vise-like head feeling.


Not enough sleep, too much coffee, too much thinking. I feel jet lagged but without the benefit of a trip.

All of which is to say, if one of my friends sends me something fun, I'll blog it; otherwise, you're getting bupkis from me until the onslaught of work lets up.

Regret is for pussies

From the Daily Show (via Colin via WSJ):
Jon Stewart: "I'm joined now by our own vice-presidential firearms mishap analyst, Rob Corddry. Rob, obviously a very unfortunate situation. How is the vice president handling it?

Rob Corddry: "Jon, tonight the vice president is standing by his decision to shoot Harry Wittington. According to the best intelligence available, there were quail hidden in the brush. Everyone believed at the time there were quail in the brush.

"And while the quail turned out to be a 78-year-old man, even knowing that today, Mr. Cheney insists he still would have shot Mr. Whittington in the face. He believes the world is a better place for his spreading buckshot throughout the entire region of Mr. Whittington's face."

Jon Stewart: "But why, Rob? If he had known Mr. Whittington was not a bird, why would he still have shot him?"

Rob Corddry: "Jon, in a post-9-11 world, the American people expect their leaders to be decisive. To not have shot his friend in the face would have sent a message to the quail that America is weak."

Jon Stewart: "That's horrible."

Rob Corddry: "Look, the mere fact that we're even talking about how the vice president drives up with his rich friends in cars to shoot farm-raised wingless quail-tards is letting the quail know 'how' we're hunting them. I'm sure right now those birds are laughing at us in that little 'covey' of theirs.

Jon Stewart: "I'm not sure birds can laugh, Rob."

Rob Corddry: "Well, whatever it is they do … coo .. they're cooing at us right now, Jon, because here we are talking openly about our plans to hunt them. Jig is up. Quails one, America zero.

Jon Stewart: "Okay, well, on a purely human level, is the vice president at least sorry?"

Rob Corddry: "Jon, what difference does it make? The bullets are already in this man's face. Let's move forward across party lines as a people … to get him some sort of mask."

Hearts are trump

Happy Valentine's Day everybody. Perhaps appropriately enough I feel pretty queasy this morning. Something I ate for sure. Pho? Chicken shwarma? Yesterday much as I wanted to join the Cheney roast festival, stupid Blogger wouldn't let me post. Today promises to be a ridiculously busy day (I am in another of those three-day meetings Thursday, Friday, Saturday), but...if I post nothing else today, I must post zefrank's valentine, which is the best valentine ever.

(Picture courtesy of toothpaste for dinner.)

The four steve rules of life

In the course of an email exchange with my dear friend and mentor Steve, he referred to one of the "four Steve rules of life" and so I asked him about the others. They're so good I have to share them. I leave you with this for the weekend. I will blog later about the rampant buck passing that's going around the administration like a bad flu. In the meantime, here is some of Steve's wisdom, excerpted from his email to me:

Rule 1 is that life is a forever process of revising our expectations.

Rule 2 is the "economic" rule, i.e. put in more than you take out, whether it is the bank, relationships, or whatever.

Rule 3 is the root of all our problems is sexual in nature.

There is a Rule 4 and it concerns a Greater Power, but for the life of me I cannot remember it exactly. These 4 Steve Rules of Life were an obsession of mine about 18 or 19 years ago and the first 3 have been so much fun, but the 4th was more philosophical and I can'’t recall how it goes exactly. Damned spiritual stuff!!

Venezuela anyone?

You know I remember being so cheered by Vaclav Havel's presidency--that there was a statesman who was famous for his literary efforts and his articulate intelligence. Now I am loving Hugo Chavez just as much but because he's such a guns-a-blazing rhetor. Shane forwarded me his latest in which he slams Blair and Bush for their fascist cowboy foreign policy. Blair needs to return the Falklands, he says, and "Hitler Danger Bush Hitler" is just a nutjob:

"Now there's a nut case up there in the presidency of the United States," Chavez said. "He's dangerous to the world because he's capable of dropping nuclear bombs.

"Now they're making plans to invade Iran and Venezuela as well. He's crazy, the North Americans themselves are going to have to tie him up because he is capable of destroying half the world and destroying his own country."

So maybe we don't run away to Canada after all. Maybe Venezuela? I'm sure some of my friends will help me with some rudimentary Spanish.

Okay I lied

Here's another V-day special. This one goes out to the Kimma (thanks to Conor for the link).

Valentine's Day treat

I'm hoping I'll have the self control to refrain from mentioning the "holiday" again here, but in any case, in celebration of love, I bring you video karaoke. A very good forward for you boy cupid victims. I can't imagine anyone who wouldn't be charmed by the sentiment. (Thanks to Annette for the link.)

Slash and burn budgeting

Will left the link for the 91 programs Bush wants to kill and, as an added bonus, AP also lists the 50 he merely wants to eviscerate. (It's alright ma--I'm only bleeding.)

It just occurred to me...

...while reading over at Alternate Brain, that this latest "curses foiled again" report of Bush and his minions prevailing over the forces of darkness and saving my fair city is actually such a plot line right out of Get Smart that it's a bit frightening. Exploding shoes indeed. Next thing you'll be telling me that mailbox over there is actually a Homeland Security agent in disguise.

Winners and losers

Agencies whose funding will increase in the proposed 2007 budget:

Defense
Energy
Homeland Security
State and Other International Programs
Treasury
Veterans Affairs
Judicial Branch
Legislative Branch
National Aeronautics and Space Administration
National Science Foundation
Social Security Administration
Other Agencies

Agencies whose funding will decrease in the proposed 2007 budget:

Agriculture
Commerce
Education
Health and Human Services
Housing and Urban Development
Interior
Justice
Labor
Transportation
Corps of Engineers
Environmental Protection Agency
Executive Office of the President

Does anyone know where I can find a list of the 91 (yes, 91) programs that are on the chopping block to be eliminated?

Goebbels goes digital

Part of the sell job on why we need to eliminate 91 programs to support our unwinnable war against terror is a new federal government website that lists programs that are performing well and poorly. It's completely fucking sinister.

Head start? HUD assistance to poor people? Perkins loans? Amtrak assistance? Healthy community access program? All ineffective.

Defense research? Nuclear physics programs? Terrorist interdiction program? Secret Service protective intelligence? All performing effectively.

You get the idea.

The budget makes me want to set myself on fire. It really does. I'm just going to sit here in my office listening to Killing Joke full blast on my headphones until we get a new administration.

Quote of the day

From the CSM article noted below on the "Deficit Reduction Omnibus Reconciliation Act of 2005":

"There's a fairness issue here," says Isabel Sawhill, a senior fellow in economics at the Brookings Institution. "We're basically cutting programs that serve low-income families and the middle class in order to pay for tax cuts that go overwhelmingly to the very wealthy. Even some Republicans have been uncomfortable with that."

Wow. Even some Republicans.

Humpday outrage round up

It's another busy day here at work. No time for much articulate analysis, but here's a brief summary of excerpts from today's news articles:

From the NYT (thank you Will):

George C. Deutsch, the young presidential appointee at NASA who told public affairs workers to limit reporters' access to a top climate scientist and told a Web designer to add the word "theory" at every mention of the Big Bang, resigned yesterday, agency officials said.

Mr. Deutsch's resignation came on the same day that officials at Texas A&M University confirmed that he did not graduate from there, as his résumé on file at the agency asserted.

From WaPo:

Rep. John A. Boehner (R-Ohio), who was elected House majority leader last week, is renting his Capitol Hill apartment from a veteran lobbyist whose clients have direct stakes in legislation Boehner has co-written and that he has overseen as chairman of the Education and the Workforce Committee.

From AP:

Five months after Katrina plunged New Orleans into darkness, roughly 124,000 homes and businesses--or more than 66 percent of the city's structures--still have no electricity, according to the utility, Entergy New Orleans.

And from The CS Monitor:

With President Bush's signature Wednesday, Medicaid recipients can expect higher copayments and deductibles. College students may face higher interest rates on student loans, as lenders are squeezed. Work requirements for women on welfare are likely to be tightened. Federal aid to states for child-support enforcement will be curtailed.

I'll say more, particularly on this last item, if I have time today. For now, I'll just say, there aren't enough hours in the day for the outrage. If you're not angry, you really aren't paying attention.

Rejected

Fantastic.

And on that note

CNN is reporting on the eviction of thousands of Katrina victims from hotel rooms in Texas:

In Houston, where 4,000 evacuees were staying in hotels, around 80 percent had received permission to extend their stays until at least next Monday. The remaining 20 percent either failed to contact FEMA or made other housing arrangements, said Frank Michel, a spokesman for Mayor Bill White.

"People need to begin to take responsibility for themselves," Michel said.

Louisiana Gov. Kathleen Blanco complained that FEMA was pulling the plug on the hotel program before securing other housing.

Taking responsibility for themselves? The article quotes FEMA as complaining that they went door-to-door to find people and some of them avoided talking to FEMA workers, even going so far as to run away. Fancy that. This apparently, is the "not taking responsibility" part--these victims didn't engage in whatever Kafka-esque process they needed to engage in to get awarded six more days or so before becoming homeless.

Fucking pathetic

The mayor of New Orleans is looking to France and Jordan (among other countries perhaps) for aid to rebuild the city. It may well be a (smart) publicity stunt on his part, but hey, I'll take the bait and just add to the chorus of WTF is wrong with our government?? Reuters reports:

French Transport Minister Dominique Perben, leading the French delegation to a city that was founded by France in 1718, said, "This catastrophe has deeply upset the French people and the French government."

France, Perben said through a translator, "wants to be a long-term partner for Louisiana and New Orleans."

It's absolutely ridiculous that it should come to this for N.O. We're returning to colonization as a method for domestic recovery. But now we have Ebay! Maybe we can auction off the French Quarter or something. Sick.

How the west was won

I finally saw Brokeback Mountain last night. I was really blown away by it. I think it surpasses Me, You and Everyone We Know as my favorite film of the year. It was lyrical in the way that Raymond Carver can be at his best--saying so much with so few words--giving voice to the mute repression in rural and working America. J, P, and I bawled like little babies in the movie theater and I cried again today thinking about that conversation between Jack's wife and Ennis--when she purses her lips and her eyes well up a little or that scene between Jack and Ennis when Ennis says, "If you can't fix it, you gotta stand it."

Heartbreaking.

The book!

Had I known, my Hannukah shopping would have been sewed up. Bar Mitzvah Disco, the book, is out. We have blogged about the site before and, with the publication of the book, the site is only a shadow of its former self now. Nonetheless, I did laugh out loud yet again.

Being a vegetarian in Kalamazoo

Yesterday we ordered lunch from the conference hotel in the interests of saving time. Mark and I ordered personal pan pizzas.

Waitress: Are any of these your pizzas?
Me and Marc: Well, that depends what's on them.
Waitress: What did you order?
Me: Olives, mushrooms, and pepperoni.
Marc: Olives, onions, and bell peppers.
Waitress: Hmm. I'm not sure what's on these.

She disappears with the pizzas.
10 minutes passes.

Waitress: Okay, what about these--are these two yours?
Me: Well, that depends what's on them.
Waitress: I'm not sure what's on them.
Me: Well, I ordered olives, mushrooms, and pepperoni.
Marc: I ordered olives, onions, and bell peppers, but I'll eat anything that doesn't have meat on it.
Waitress: Let me see. Let me find out what's on these.

10 minutes passes.

Waitress, returning with two pizzas: This one has pepperoni and something...
Me: I'll take that one.
Waitress: And this one has ham...
Marc: That's not mine.
Me: He'll take anything as long as it doesn't have meat on it.

10 minutes passes.

Waitress, returning with a pizza: This one has pepperoni...
Marc: No, I ordered one with no meat.
Waitress: So this one isn't yours.
Marc: No. I don't eat meat.

10 minutes passes.

Waitress: This one has olives and pepperoni.
Marc: No. I don't eat meat.
Long pause
Waitress: We may just have to make you a vegetarian one.
Marc: That would be fine.

It could be worse--it could be raining

Oh. It is raining. Right.

I made it to Kalamazoo. My luggage, however, loved Chi-town so much it decided to spend the night in O'Hare. And I got my period on the plane. The materials for the all day workshop that begins at 9:00am tomorrow (as well as my tampons) are in my Chicago-dwelling bag.

And there are two large busloads of church youth group creatures staying at this hotel.

Really though, it really could be worse. Why, not too long ago on a work trip my "little visitor" came in the middle of my facilitating a session, an event for which I was completely unprepared, which meant I had to find a sympathetic woman attendee and send her on a mission of mercy to the pharmacy.

You see--we really shouldn't be president--we women. (Joking!!)

And one more thing--You know you're back in the midwest when grownups are ordering milk during beverage service on the plane. (The airline guy said "you betcha!" to me tonight.)

Okay, I have to be up early tomorrow to facilitate a meeting all day with mms (mid-menstrual syndrome) and no materials. Have a great weekend all.

(P.S. Blogger's spell check doesn't recognize "tampons." Um--hel-lo? What's up with that?)

The fault, dear Brutus, is not in our stars...

On a completely random note, Venus goes out of retrograde tomorrow, and I for one, am relieved. According to my stars, it seems next month is just going to be fan-fucking-tastic for me. And I say--Bring it!

As Venus is moving out of retrograde, I will be on the move to Kalamazoo for the weekend. And any city that sounds so much like a Dr. Suess invention can't be all bad. I'll be traveling all day tomorrow and in a conference room the day after that. If I can, I'll blog something from the heartland--a limerick or something.

Meet the new boss...

So the new House majority leader is more of the same. AP reports that he refused to return 30,000 in donations from American Indian tribes Abramoff represented. He's accepted all kinds of money and goodies from Sallie Mae while they were lobbying the committee he chairs (the House Education and the Workforce Committee) and so on.

But we here in the blogosphere are just a mite tired of outrage today. Are we protesting? No--we're giggling.


Because really, how can you not have a Beavis and Butthead moment when you're reading an article titled "Boehner Is Old Hand in House Battles" that has lines like "Last month, Boehner--pronounced BAY'-nur--refused to return some $30,000..."

Baynur. Hee hee. They said Baynur.

One more from the voice

Best albums of 2005--The Voice's Pazz&Jop Critics' Poll. An interesting selection to be sure. I just bought tickets to see Art Brut (#23) next month. When we saw them last month at the Echo, I said to Portia, this is one of those bands that you think to yourself someday you might say, "Gosh I saw them at this little club with not such a big crowd when they were still unknown." (As an aside, we also tried to get tickets for the Arctic Monkeys, but because KROQ has picked up one of their singles, the show was, in fact, sold out. As much as I think Art Brut deserves to be recognized, I do hope that KROQ doesn't ruin them. I hate to go to a show populated by drunk frat boys and bleached blondes with Hello Kitty gear on.)

I love these

The next time I am in New York, I am absolutely going to Fabulous Fanny's. What a great idea. Of course my vintage frames cost $3.00 at St. Vinny's but (as I'm fond of saying lately) that's just because I'm really punk rock.

Halliburton

Reading James Ridgeway's piece today on why the government won't release the Katrina documents, I started to rethink the whole notion that this is a government run by crooks and liars. Ridgeway argues that the papers will reveal what everyone knows (I mean really knows, not tinfoil hat "knows"), that the feds knew Katrina was coming but didn't want to interrupt their golf games to do anything about it. Halliburton; Kellogg, Brown & Root; and Fluor, all big contributors to The Party are profiting handsomely:

The long and the short of it is that Katrina, like Iraq, has been a cash cow for Bush's entrepreneur buddies. Congress has approved $62.3 billion for Katrina relief efforts so far. And that's only the beginning.

And this is where I had the realization that Bush's whole strategy seems to be to welcome or cause chaos--start a war, don't do anything about an impending natural disaster, and so on--and then divvy up the mop-up spoils. It's like a weird chaos-induced WPA for people who are already stinking rich. Which brings me to my epiphany: This is not a government by thieves and liars; it's a government by janitors.

It's official

Punk is dead.

W's legacy

Those of us who hate him may find it easy to look past his contributions, but Bush has made inroads few other presidents would have been capable of. Thanks to E and S for the reminder.

More on the movies

Tom Cruise has finally been nominated for an award he deserves.

For those whose constitution was too weak to watch

Democrappy, one of the more intelligent, well written blogs out there, has a readable and reasonable recap of the SOTU address, including gems like this:

On the ticklish question of Hamas, he stated, "The Palestinian people have voted," and now Hamas must renounce violence, affirm Israel's right to exist, disarm, and cease terrorist activities. In other words, it was good that the Palestinians voted, and we respect that they voted for Hamas instead of Fatah--the only thing we require is that Hamas immediately and unilaterally transform itself into Fatah.

I really would rather read Matt's analysis than suffer through it myself; though I admit I'm sorry I missed the Dems' standing ovation in response to W's social security lead in, "Congress did not act last year on my proposal to save Social Security..."