Being a vegetarian in Kalamazoo

Yesterday we ordered lunch from the conference hotel in the interests of saving time. Mark and I ordered personal pan pizzas.

Waitress: Are any of these your pizzas?
Me and Marc: Well, that depends what's on them.
Waitress: What did you order?
Me: Olives, mushrooms, and pepperoni.
Marc: Olives, onions, and bell peppers.
Waitress: Hmm. I'm not sure what's on these.

She disappears with the pizzas.
10 minutes passes.

Waitress: Okay, what about these--are these two yours?
Me: Well, that depends what's on them.
Waitress: I'm not sure what's on them.
Me: Well, I ordered olives, mushrooms, and pepperoni.
Marc: I ordered olives, onions, and bell peppers, but I'll eat anything that doesn't have meat on it.
Waitress: Let me see. Let me find out what's on these.

10 minutes passes.

Waitress, returning with two pizzas: This one has pepperoni and something...
Me: I'll take that one.
Waitress: And this one has ham...
Marc: That's not mine.
Me: He'll take anything as long as it doesn't have meat on it.

10 minutes passes.

Waitress, returning with a pizza: This one has pepperoni...
Marc: No, I ordered one with no meat.
Waitress: So this one isn't yours.
Marc: No. I don't eat meat.

10 minutes passes.

Waitress: This one has olives and pepperoni.
Marc: No. I don't eat meat.
Long pause
Waitress: We may just have to make you a vegetarian one.
Marc: That would be fine.