First, can you nuance the conflict more? As it is, the plot suffers from a Manichean distinction between good and evil that I see only working in an action movie or a superhero flick. A statement such as this one, for example:
The contrast couldn't be clearer between the intentions and the hearts of those of us who care deeply about human rights and human liberty, and those who kill -- those who have got such evil in their heart that they will take the lives of innocent folks.
just isn't going to be believable by your audience. If you want to create a real-life drama, you're going to have to create more complicated characters--a psyche that's neither totally good nor totally evil--and a set of motivations that is better thought through than "they are bad; we are good."
Second, when proposing a plot about the demise of the West, you simply can't name one of the characters "Jack Straw." It's just far too obvious.
And finally, what's with the sheep? If you make the symbolism any more blatant, people will begin throwing things at the screen. True, they may have managed to pull off raining frogs in Magnolia, but I really think the mass suicide of 450 sheep is going to be a far too transparent metaphor. People will walk out before the film is even over.
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