Two things I hate

1. When you pay for someone's dinner because they're a starving young person type and then you run into them at a function at a Hawaiian resort.

2. People who take their off road vehicles down to 7 mph to go over a speed bump.

If I make it through the week without becoming a complete and total misanthrope it will be a minor miracle.

Mahalo, the matrix has you

So I am apparently staying at the most profitable hotel in the world (who knew?). When we arrived here (after 4pm), one of our two rooms was not ready. They told us to come back in two hours. We said that was not okay. So they found another room. (After some considerable delay, I might add.) My traveling buddy went to check into that room, but she needed a king bed and they'd given her a room with two doubles. So then we switched rooms. (And let me add here that one of the rooms was charged at the wrong rate and the other had the wrong check out date.)

Then, of course, I went to set up my computer. We'd asked at the desk about high speed access and they gave us a cable. Thing is--the room is set up for wireless. So I get my wireless card and try to connect. One bar. One of those "the gerbils are running as fast as they can" connections. I can't even connect well enough to pay for connection. So I call the 800 number and talk to the guy who tells me I can get a wireless bridge--that he'll call the front desk and have them send one up.

A little while later I get a call from the hotel. There will be a one dollar fee, the woman tells me, to bring the wireless bridge to my room. Otherwise I can come get it at the front desk.

And here, I need to cut in and underscore that I am here, not for a vacation, but as staff on an event that is filling thousands of rooms here this weekend. Whatever. The lesson we learned today is that one doesn't get to be the most profitable through great customer service or even common sense.

This place is totally like biosphere for the cruise class. It's vast--a compound, you could say. I'm trying not to have Logan's Run anxiety, but I fully expect to wake to find a crystal in the palm of my hand that's gone black.

Today's riddle:
Q: When does "high speed" mean "super slow"?
A: When when you're connecting to the Internet on island time.

Swatting flies with hammers

The latest strategy in combating illegal immigration appears to be simply obliterating border towns so reports AP, in a story titled "N.M., Mexico Agree to Raze Lawless Town" about Bill Richardson's agreement with Chihuahua's governor to level the buildings in Las Chepas (population approx. 35) where immigrants could hide.

You know, I lived through the 80s in DC and the battles to maintain the gentrified atmosphere of some city neighborhoods in the face of a growing population of have-nots. I remember at one point, they tired of the homeless people sleeping on the benches in front of my neighborhood laundromat, so they removed all of the benches. This accomplished two things: first, everyone had to stand while they were waiting for the bus; second, the homeless people slept inside the laundromat. Which is to say, good luck Bill.

Spam of the month

This from A's in box--a personal testimonial in a spam ad for an energy pill:

"I wake up at 6am to make breakfast and help my husband get out the door for work. I drive my daughter to kindergarten and son to his junior high, then the grocery shopping, laundry, house cleaning, my girl scout troop, perhaps a soccer game, cook dinner, help the kids with their homework, and hopefully squeeze in some quality time with my husband. I wake up at 6am the next morning and do an almost identical day. I don't know what I would do without Excell."
– Noel Dawson, Super Mom, Ramona, California

I mean fuck, right? Is it an ad for an energy pill or for hollowpoint bullets that's what I want to know.

Innovation ≠ improvement

BBC reports on animatronic squirrels that will supposedly be an improvement over ringing cell phones. Myself, I fail to see how seeing the hamster dance a dozen times a day rather than hearing a ring tone is a quality of life improvement. Take this, for example:

[F]uture technology needs to "have a deeper understanding of how humans like to interact, what humans want, and eventually what humanity stands for," he said.

"This includes our immediate context, our thinking and our goals, but also our morals and ethics."

. . .

But there are still technologies, he argues, which just do not need to be improved, such as the lift or elevator.

"Although we have had speech recognition for some time now, elevators still have push buttons. It just doesn't make any sense to introduce a more complex interface when what we have is already completely appropriate."

. . .

"For some tasks, though, pressing a button to initiate a certain procedure is better than getting involved in a philosophical discussion with a wise-ass elevator about who is most important in the lift and needs to get where first."

I fear to think, really. Here's the thing--given the state of the nation, the results of the last presidential election, the popularity of talk radio and reality TV and so on, how much can we really expect from artificial intelligence. I'd be satisfied with some real intelligence, myself. If we can teach machines to understand what humanity is and how to make an ethical decision, I vote we turn over the running of the country to them. They'd be way ahead of our current leaders.

Word of the day

The latest in our continuing series of gender-related posts...

Got this last week via email:

Thelyphthoric (adjective)

Pronunciation: [the-lêf-'tho-rik or thee-] Listen

Definition: (Obsolete) Corruptive of the morals of women.

Suggested Usage: There are obvious religious applications of today's word: "The parson warned the congregation of the thelyphthoric effects of Britney Spears' new video." But the layman will find uses for it, too: "Finding it less time-consuming than plying the young ladies with libation, Giuseppe soon learned that paying them gratuitous compliments was more efficient for swaying them to his thelyphthoric ends."

Etymology: Today's word was the creation of Martin Madan, who wrote in 1780 "Thelyphthora or, A treatise on female ruin: in its causes, effects, consequences, prevention, and remedy." Madan put this word together from Greek thelus "woman" + phthora "destruction, ruin." Both Greek words have resisted efforts of etymologists to dissipate their mystery.

Ungrounded

So it occurred to me this week that the reason I've been feeling pretty ungrounded lately is, in fact, because I have spent way too much time in the air recently. I leave tomorrow for Hawaii. (Before anyone gets too envious let me add that this is a work trip and, as anyone who's traveled for work knows, the inside of one convention center/Hilton seems much the same as another regardless of where in the world you are.) I get back from Honolulu Tuesday morning and then Thursday morning I leave for Albuquerque. I return from there Sunday and I'm very much looking forward to trying to make it a whole month without leaving California. Though that's still in question as there is a prospect of a cross-country road trip with A (ABQ-DC) sometime late September/October-ish, with a short DC visit and then a flight back. We'll see.

The good news in all of this is that I have enough miles for a trip to Europe. Still mulling over whether to keep saving for New Zealand or just spend them in the spring going back to A-dam or somewhere.

What all of that amounts to is that there will be no blogging next week. If I get any time to do something besides work 17 hour days I will not be spending them posting things. In the meantime--as in right now--I will try to catch up a little. I have a bunch of choice tidbits in the in box sent from various sources.

Well, I'm glad we cleared that up

Via the Bitch comes the news that men are, in fact, more intelligent than women. So says science. This from The Australian:

Men are more intelligent than women by about five IQ points on average, making them better suited for tasks of high complexity, according to the authors of a paper due to be published in the British Journal of Psychology.

Genetic differences in intelligence between the sexes helped explain why many more men than women won Nobel Prizes or became chess grandmasters, the study by Paul Irwing and Richard Lynn concludes.

They showed that men outnumbered women in increasing numbers as intelligence levels rose. There were twice as many with IQ scores of 125, typical for people with first-class degrees.

When scores rose to 155, associated with genius, there were 5.5 men for every woman.

Lucky thing I left academia, that's what I'm thinking. Those tasks of high complexity...they're just so hard!

I think my favorite part of the article is the lead-in: "HALF the population will dismiss this story--but..." The assumption being, of course, that all of the men reading this will agree with it. Yeah.

I guess I need to go over and apologize to the trolls on Eponymous' blog.

Brain food

I am such a sucker for this kind of thing:


Sushi flash drives courtesy of Popgadget.

Oh dear

AP sez:

A new Washington University study shows the part of the brain used to daydream is the same where Alzheimer's disease develops — in some people — later in life. It suggests the normal brain activity of daydreaming fuels the sequence of events leading to Alzheimer's.

I'm so fucked.

Career opportunities

Silly me. I spent so many years aquiring a PhD, when I could have just gone this route.

The historical roots of local fetish

I've often said that LA distinguishes itself from, say, an east coast city by its relationship to transportation:

In LA, cars are extensions of bodies and feet are objects of art.

Well, Andrea just sent evidence that there are longstanding historical roots to this phenomenon. From the BBC news story "Bones reveal first shoe-wearers":

"The oldest shoes in the world are about 9,000 years old, and they're from California," said Professor Trinkaus, of Washington University in St Louis, US.

More on pots and kettles

From Bush's speech in Idaho today:

In the end, the terrorists will fail because they have nothing positive to offer. The terrorist Zarqawi sums up their appeal this way: Anyone who stands in the way of our struggle is our enemy and target of the swords. That's the sum of his grim vision. They're brutal, but nothing more. They seek to exploit a great religion, but in truth, they are animated by nothing but their own lust for power and their desire for dominion over others. And while they may sow death and destruction for a time, the history of the last half-century is clear -- the will to power cannot withstand the will to live in freedom. (Applause.)

What to say really?

Birthday pics

More substantive blogging will resume later today. In the meantime, this one's just for Rook by request.


M, A, J, and me in Santa Monica Sunday



Banana cream birthday pie

Comment of the month

Amber wins the blog commenter of the month award. And I credit this not because she was kind enough to give me kudos over on her blog, but just because it's so damn quotable:

Me: . . . Seriously though, has anyone else noticed that the thing that really gets long comments strings on Ep's blog tends to be debates among men (and Amber--I'm not ignoring you) over feminism?

Eponymous: Well, I'd prefer it if we had plenty of women here discussing this, but my most verbose posters tend to be male. Sorry.

Amber's comment: I know enough to duck and cover when I'm about to be beaten about the head and shoulders with 20 angry penises.

The only one in the country

My present from Andrea. I'm thinking I need to start inviting dates over for dinner more.

Metaphor

The whole "your body is a temple" thing? It's a metaphor, folks. It doesn't mean you should go adorning yourself like you're the Sistine Chapel or something. (Who even knew there was a Christian Tattoo Association?)

Though I'll admit, I do like some of them.

1,100

That's how many dead bodies were brought to the Baghdad morgue last month, according to Truthout. Before we rescued the country from senseless violence, the total for the month was generally fewer than 200. (For more on the carnage levels, see Iraq Body Count.)

Truthout also reports on an Afghan detainee who was beaten so badly his muscles split apart. Thank heavens the reservist being tried was just acting on his own volition and this isn't part of a pattern of abuse, huh?

And then there's shrub and his Parisian vacation and refusal to meet with C.S. I mean, for fuck's sake. I read in today's story about "the protest mom" (this particular positioning really does make my head explode--hello nineteenth century):

Some critics say Sheehan is exploiting her son's death to promote a left-wing agenda supported by her and groups with which she associates.

I'm not even going to get into the latest truly loony editorial from Ann Coulter in which she counters Sheehan's accusations by waving the 9/11 card. (Um, and this has exactly what to do with any of this, Ann?) But I will ask: since when is it a "left-wing agenda" to object to thousands of dead and countless more torture victims? If there are any right-wingers out there reading this, I want to say I pity you if this is now a "left-wing agenda." I really do. May god, or whatever, have mercy on your pathetic souls.

Humor or prophesy?

You make the call.

When the history of bad smells is written

There will be an entire chapter titled "The Elevator in Travis' Building."

The building is only three stories tall--truly I am mystified at how the smell of fish could get embedded into the elevator at a molecular level in what could have only been a short journey. It's like some fish crawled into the wall and died there.