Site of the day

Great Photographers on the Internet

(Thank you Conor)

Site of the day

Scary stuff:
Via BoingBoing:

Bodies

I grew up thinking about my body as a large inconvenient container upon which to carry my brain around, and while I've largely made piece with the container, even grown fond of it, at times it's just a big obnoxious machine. This week, I am plagued by bodies. First, there is my own, which been subject to a severe case of vertigo for about a week now. It is better today thanks mostly to doing precious little save sleep yesterday. But life is still a little rocky and rolly. It was so bad Monday that I went to urgent care after losing my train of thought at work and then getting anxious about not being able to focus, which then led to a minor anxiety attack, causing my brain to shut down even further. At least, that's what I figure happened. At the time it just felt like I was having some major cognitive malfunction.

Waited in urgent care for almost three hours, saw the doctor for maybe seven minutes. He prescribed sea sickness medication, which I'm now taking four times a day. I think it's helping. Certainly it is making me tired and giving me the worst cotton mouth I've had since quitting drugs.

Then I took Nic the cat to the vet yesterday and found out he has diabetes. Truly, that is better than the alternative diagnosis I'd worked out for him which was kidney disease, but it still means he has to go on a restricted diet, shed about 40% of his body weight, and get insulin shots twice a day. So yes, I was in Walgreens last night on a minor nod, with total cotton mouth, buying a box of syringes. Fun.

None of it is the end of the world. The vertigo will subside eventually; I have faith. And Nic the cat is in good hands. I'll do my best by him. But sheesh. Stupid bodies. As I have mentioned before, mine clearly came with a forty year warranty.

Overheard at the Getty

Man One: You used to see so much new age stuff. People wearing pyramids on their heads and such.
Man Two: But not so much any more?
Man One: Not any more. You know what's really popular in LA right now? What's really popular is Kabbalah.
Man Two: Well people need something to believe in.
Man One: How about reality?

Happy birthday to my blog

I just realized that last week was this blog's fourth birthday. [I'm sorry, I just can't make myself type something beginning "blog" and ending "versary." Eradicate ugly neologisms!] That means it's also the fourth anniversary of my PhD-hood. I started this blog immediately upon finishing the PhD because the thought of life without feeling guilty because "I should be writing ______" was too much to bear. (For those of you still in the grad school life, I offer one of my favorite posts, Top ten reasons blogging beats writing a dissertation. Screenwriting bloggers might appreciate it as well.)

I blogged pretty randomly and occasionally until November 2004 at which point political outrage took over and I started blogging all the fucking time. I guess Bush was good for something after all.

Now I'm at a point where I'm tired of ceaseless political blogging. I get my dander or despair up from time to time, but in general I'm just tired of posting the same things over and over. I feel like I need autotext entries that say: "Oh and by the way, the government is making a mockery of the Constitution," or "Did anyone else notice how stupid the President is?" or "Gosh, that guy/woman really is a facist."

I have mildly resisted blogging about myself a lot for a variety of reasons--first, who the hell cares, and second, who the hell cares? But I seem to be doing more of that lately and when A's mom died a handful of people got in touch with me after reading that entry so I am now aware that at least four people care at least some of the time.

I guess that's a long way of saying the focus here is evolving a little and after six years in LA perhaps the transition from Washingtonian to Angeleno is complete and I will now write more about Me! Me! Me! and lament less about Them, Them, Them. We shall see.

In the meantime, yeah, happy birthday to my blog.

(The birthday cake eating child has nothing to do with me whatsoever. It's kk+'s image used through a Creative Commons license.)

Morning video pleasure

I love cheese rolling. I really do.

bad timing

XKCD has been pretty brilliant lately. First the Stove Ownership comic, now this one, which totally spoke to me.

"The years teach us much which the days never know"

A's mom died last night. I am on a plane to DC tomorrow. The funeral will be Tuesday. I have cried more today than I care to in a month. I am so sad for A and her sister--the whole family of course, but especially A and J. For me the death of my mother was The Primal Loss--like the Platonic Ideal of loss, where everything else, every other particular loss was a facsimile or a shadow of that one. It's an entirely different thing to be motherless in the world.

And of course, I'm emotionally reminded of my own late teens when I thought grief would just swallow me. It felt unsurvivable. I truly don't know how A managed to stay friends with me through my parents' illnesses and my rage and sorrow and self-centered death-wish years. I know she wasn't the picture of mental health herself, but surely there were easier friends to have than me. After my mom died I could barely feed myself. If it weren't for A I don't know what would have become of me.

I remember the night that horrible summer that my high school boyfriend broke up with me. My despair was crushing. And here's the thing: It's not like I was so damn in love with him. But he was a way to be somewhere other than in that house. He would come pick me up and we'd go downtown and drink ourselves into sweet oblivion, a paradise compared to the present reality. I came home and called A's house even though it was around midnight. Her dad answered and I couldn't even speak. I just cried into the phone and he put A on. She just said, "Are you home? I'll be right there." I went outside to wait for her but I had already woken my mother. I was on the front step just weeping, disconsolate. And my mother comes to the door and sees me so upset and starts crying. "I wish there was a way I could make this less hard on you," she says. (And here let me say that while my mother was not exactly mother of the year most of the time, this memory still astonishes me for what it says about her capacity to love and her particular love for me--to be so selfless that you wish your terminal bone cancer was not so hard on your daughter. No greater love.) Anyway, so A came and she had a bottle of tequila in her trunk and I sat in her car and cried and drank every drop. Thank god we do not have to do any of these things twice--be teenagers, bury our parents, bottom out on drugs...

I'm really grateful I could find a flight and that I have the best job in the world that will not just let me miss a three-day meeting off-site but encourage me to go support my friend and say goodbye to her mom.

"You begin with the possibilities of the material"

I will miss you, Robert Rauschenberg.

Video of the day

Despite the fact that I am super-grumpy today, this clip (thank you eecue) made me laugh out loud.



There's much other news to report really, but I haven't had much will to write.

I was supposed to be away this week, but the fates seem to want me in LA. First I'd planned a trip to Spain with the bf, but then that fell through ("that" being a deliberately unclear referent in this sentence). Then I decided to make the best of it and go to ABQ for a week, but A's mother got really ill and A had to go east suddenly. So I am having a total busman's holiday.

A's mother is still in the hospital but is, as of today, what they would call stable except they don't call you stable if you're on a ventilator.

A says, "When god gives you lemons, it's time to get a new god," and I'm pretty on board with that.

More good health news: L's chest CT shows no sign of cancer (yay!).

It's going to be an autumn of great shows. Got tix to Nick Cave in September and My Bloody Valentine in October.

Am contemplating another tattoo, though given that I just spent the equivalent of two car payments on new glasses I think it will have to wait.

There's a spray of bullets for you. Randomness.

Cheering oneself up

Today I
1. bought two pairs of shoes
2. shared a bowl of microwave popcorn with Nic the cat
3. bought tickets for Albuquerque and investigated flights to Minneapolis

I'm still not exactly chipper, but hey, I have new shoes and I'm leaving town in a few weeks. I realized that when I feel low, I usually head right for Travelocity. I guess it beats surfing porn or online gambling.

Work has actually slightly mellowed in prep for next week's conference. We have all been working like sled dogs and it's coming together. Tonight I left by 6pm(!) I'm starting to get very excited about the conference. I move into the hotel Saturday and leave eight days later. That's a long time to live in a Marriott, but I have my coffee supplies and my bath salts. I've hired the cat sitter and I pick up my dry cleaning Friday. By this time next week, the project I have worked on for five years will have been voted on and we'll be on the downhill for the conference week. Sort of hard to believe.

I'm starting to get genuinely excited.

Don't mistake my silence for lack of outrage

I think I mentioned in an earlier post that I've been promoted here at work to "Director of Communications," which is a very nice way of saying "King of the S*** Pile" it seems. Anyway, that accounts for a great deal of my silence lately. Our biennial conference is next month and it's definitely felt like "there must be a pony" time here for me.

Then of course, there's the travel. In the past few months I've been to Florida, DC, Denmark, Hungary, and Albuquerque.

And as for the personal life, as they say around here "life has shown up."

All of that said, I had to interrupt my radio silence to share my outrage and disgust about the freshly declassified torture memo. You can find parts one and two in .pdf form here and here. (Thank you Chicago Tribune.) I myself have neither the time nor the emotional stamina to read the whole thing. But here are a couple of snippets for you, courtesy of ABC news:

First this stunning logic which basically amounts to "because these people are not subject to standard law, they are not covered by the Constitution." Or put another way, "Having eliminated Habeas Corpus, we are now moving on to use the Bill of Rights as toilet paper.":

"Unlike imprisonment pursuant to a criminal sanction, the detention of enemy combatants involves no sentence judicially imposed or legislatively required," the memo said. "Accordingly the Eighth Amendment has no application here."

And then there's this:

"If a government defendant were to harm an enemy combatant during an interrogation in a manner that might arguably violate a criminal prohibition, he would be doing so in order to prevent further attacks on the United States by the al Qaeda terrorist network. In that case, we believe that he could argue that the executive branch's constitutional authority to protect the nation from attack justified his actions."

"This national and international version of the right to self-defense could supplement and bolster the government defendant's individual right to self-defense could supplement and bolster the government defendant's individual right."

National self defense my ass. What a crock.

I swear to god this kind of thing makes me want to drive into oncoming traffic.

Thanks for letting me share. I will now return to the pony search.

What is wrong with this passage?

From a NYT article on the Democratic primary in Florida and Michigan:

Mrs. Clinton won the most votes in primaries in Florida and Michigan in January. But the states held their contests earlier than allowed by the Democratic National Committee’s rules, leading the party to strip them of their delegates to the nominating convention. Neither candidate campaigned actively in the two states, and Mr. Obama was not on the ballot in Michigan.

Random shots from Budapest and Copenhagen

My favorite shot from the trip:



No matter where in the world you are...



Conor's author picture





St. Basil's in 80 kg of marzipan:

My relationship to time right now

You know when you're almost out of toothpaste and you have to squish the tube with all your might to try to get one more day's worth out of it because you forgot to stop at the drugstore on your way home?


Well, that pretty well describes my relationship to the hours in the day right now.

(Thanks to Hamed Saber for the Creative Commons licensed pic.)

Facts about Budapest you may not know

1. Everything is so terribly overheated that it's impossible to sleep with the windows shut.
2. Construction people begin work at 6am.
3. Construction crews enjoy singing rousing Hungarian songs in time with the clanging and banging of their work.

It's my last day in Budapest and I feel a bit murderous. Clearly I'm going to need to learn the phrase "SHUT THE FUCK UP" in Magyar for my next visit.

Grrr.

It's such a perfect day...I'm glad I spent it with you...

Any day that includes exploring a castle, getting a 90-minute Thai massage, and going to the marzipan museum is, by definition, a great day.

We get to sit in a conference room all day for the next six days. I'm glad this one rocked hard.

The virtues of untidiness

All in all, we had a wonderful time in Denmark. Though the coffee--as the Swedes will tell you right off--is not the best in Europe, I defy anyone to find a decent cup at a meeting in the states, so that hardly seemed a point of argument. The workshop was a success. I think the Danes who attended learned a lot and feel more connected and while there were fewer than they had anticipated (around 50 at any given time), I think our being here will make some difference. I feel like I have made some friends and yesterday we got to have an unwind day that ended with a transcendent piece of strawberry tart.

Today we flew to Budapest. Here is a poster from the airport:
The small print you may not be able to read says 54% of Republicans favor foreign investment, while 45% of Democrats do. So I guess CNN at least is still arguing that the world is catching cold when we sneeze.

We have only been in Budapest a few hours, but I am already won over. Copenhagen was very nice and I expect the people are the sort that make me feel right at home right away. I think I must have been a northern European in my last life (are you reading this Trond?) because the manner and reserve most places in Northern Europe where I have been suits me so well. But for the city itself, beyond the people who made it, I am really loving Budapest already. It reminds me of New York in that you feel like you could discover something new and exciting or mysterious around the next corner. And there are trees. Even in their sad, leafless state I appreciate them. Copenhagen had precious little greenery in the city center.

We had goulash for lunch and it was delicious.

The word for the day is the small red hot pepper, which in Hungarian apparently translates quite ideosyncratically. This is from the magazine on the airline:

Should we prepare something even more Hungarian, we can improve the flavour with the addition of cherry paprika or the small pointed capsicum, which in our way of speaking was named after the most characteristic part of tomcats.

There you have it folks. Cat dick. Love it.

Observations after spending a day wandering Copenhagen

1. What the Danes call "a beautiful day" wouldn't make the cut in LA. "Beautiful day" in Danish translates to something like "not cold enough to freeze your tits off." Also it has been so dark and cloudy for so long that any day with the sun shining is by definition "beautiful." Who knows, if Kierkegaard had grown up in LA maybe he would have been a motivational speaker or something.

2. How can you go wrong visiting a place that has an entire category of tasty breakfast food named after it? There's a reason why they call them "danishes." What do we have in California? Rolls with fake crab in them and ginormous beds. Give me the tasty breakfast pasteries any day.

3. Europeans have much nicer winter clothes, especially boots.

4. Nobody here got the PETA memo about fur.

Greetings from the land of cheese, depressing philosophy, and fairy tales

I arrived last night in Copenhagen for a two-week, multi-workshop trip for work. I'll be here until Tuesday and then it's on to Budapest for two more workshops. I'm very excited to be overseas again. I haven't traveled internationally in a couple of years--not since Dublin. And I've never been to Denmark or Hungary so that's particularly exciting. Copenhagen seems a really interesting mix of old Europe and, well, Danish modern. In fact, much of the city looks like it could have come packed in flat cartons in the back of a hatchback. It is, apparently, the first sunny day in about six weeks, so we are looking forward to taking advantage of that in a little wander today. Our hotel is, I am told, around the corner from Copenhagen's red light district ("addict street" it was put to me), so that should provide for some interesting scenery. Perhaps I'll be able to post some pictures later in the week.

Other than the trip, much has happened in the past few months. I've been to Florida (December) and DC/Virginia (January) for family and work trips.

I was promoted at work. I am now "Director of Communications." I tried to convince my bosses that the position should be called "Communications Tsar," but they were unwilling to consider that, alas.

I joined a writing group, though you wouldn't know it from the amount I've been writing. I haven't even posted for blogging.la in forever.

Another friend of mine at work died at the beginning of January, and his memorial was two weeks ago. Last week, I went to a memorial for Bobby, a guy who is very central to my community and much loved and missed by many. It's been a real season of loss for us at the office (where we have had three coworkers die since September and another who is terminally ill) and in general in the larger community.

So lots going on. More from Copenhagen soon.

Story of the day

What if Howard Stern turned to a life of crime? That's what this story makes me think. Running across that story and then being treated to Will's yard art picture this morning made me think it's bound to be a good day today.

Site of the day

This just totally cracked me up so I have to share it. A just forwarded me an email thread between herself and her cousin about mohels, and within it was the URL for Dr. Diamond's site (he is the mohel of choice appparently). His slogan, of course, is "Nothing cuts like a diamond."

I'm beginning to believe bad puns are a genetically linked disease not unlike Taysachs.

And another thing: NOAM, the National Organization of American Mohelim, really sounds like an organization from a David Foster Wallace novel.

2007 Darwin Awards

They've announced the Darwin Awards for this year, and I really think the wrong entry won. The winners of this years' Darwin Award were a couple who apparently died after falling off a slanted roof upon which they were doing the nasty.

But the second place guy is a class by himself in my book:

Michael was an alcoholic. And not an ordinary alcoholic, but an alcoholic who liked to take his liquor... well, rectally. His wife said he was "addicted to enemas" and often used alcohol in this manner. The result was the same: inebriation.
The machine shop owner couldn't imbibe alcohol by mouth due to a painful throat ailment, so he elected to receive his favourite beverage via enema. And tonight, Michael was in for one hell of a party. Two 1.5 litre bottles of sherry, more than 100 fluid ounces, right up the old address!

When the rest of us have had enough, we either stop drinking or pass out. When Michael had had enough (and subsequently passed out) the alcohol remaining in his rectal cavity continued to be absorbed. The next morning, Michael was dead.

The 58-year-old did a pretty good job of embalming himself. According to toxicology reports, his blood alcohol level was 0.47%.

In order to qualify for a Darwin Award, a person must remove himself from the gene pool via an "astounding misapplication of judgment." Three litres of sherry up the butt can only be described as astounding. Unsurprisingly, his neighbors said they were surprised to learn of the incident.

Now that's commitment.

What we talk about when we talk about copyediting

The New Yorker has published a copy of Raymond Carver's "What We Talk About When We Talk About Love" including Gordon Lish's copyediting. Pretty amazing stuff. Lish turned a good story great. If you've ever doubted that truism, "Everyone needs a copyeditor," have a look.

QOTD

"It's not uncommon for hunters to be shot by their dogs."

Help me out here people

I'm trying to think of an occasion where having the capacity to play .mp3s on your taser might be important, useful or convenient but I just can't come up with anything.

I will say if I had such a device, I'd be sorely tempted to load it with tunes like "Shock the Monkey" and Lou Christie's "Lightning Strikes."

If you can't say it, you can't bomb it

As I've noted here in the past, at some recent time "nu-cu-lar" became an accepted pronunciation according to Merriam-Webster (and others, I'm sure). Still, I'm old school and every time our frat boy leader says "nu-cu-lar" it grates on me. Of course, the whole "shucks, I'm just a country boy" routine makes me want to projectile vomit after my head spins around a little. (And is it just my imagination or is Edwards leaning on that southern drawl more than he used to?) The American anti-intellectual spirit that goes something like "We're so busy setting fence posts on our ranch we don't have time to worry about book learnin'," is both embarrassing and infuriating. Reagan and Bush have both managed to push their homespun images to a point of near parody, and the country as a whole seems perfectly willing to go right along with them in their pork-rind-eating, cowboy-boot-wearing, hayseed-chewing matter of fact feeling that we can't be burdened by the hifallutin business of learning the law or consulting the Constitution. Common sense (read ideology) trumps all that intellectual stuff.

I made the great mistake of listening to the news this morning which is what inspired this post. Generally I try to just read the news so that I don't have to actually listen to Bush's voice at all. I tuned in toward the end of Olmert's long intro piece that was being simultaneously translated, and at its close, Bush pipes up, "The interpreter got it right," which was another but apparently funnier way of saying, "I'm a monolingual idiot and this is all over my head." Jesus, could we just elect someone that doesn't generate the same sort of shame that the drunk relative at the party engenders? Even if I don't agree with him (or her) I'd just like to have a president that I didn't feel like sending apology notes to other heads of state about.

So I decided this morning, while listening to Bush yap about the middle east, that one shouldn't be allowed to declare war on (or invade) a country unless you can pronounce its name right. So no war on "Eye Ran" or "Eye Raynians." Sorry.

Never mind cats and dogs

It's raining gazelles and giraffes out there. Bison even.

Couldn't get through the pass tonight to get to K's house. Went part way and then quailed and made a shaky waterlogged u-turn to come home. To the guy who powered by me in frustration burying my car in a zero-visibility wake, thanks buddy. Luckily for me I managed to not drive into opposing traffic even though I could see less than nada and the road was submerged under feet of water.

In short, it was a scary ride. I am still jittery from the adrenaline. I had to park on the street because the water in my space in the lot is more than ankle deep. It's about a hair's breadth from the door crack. Another hour of this rain and my carpets would have been sloshy.

It's supposed to continue through the weekend by which time everyone in Malibu will be living in a houseboat I suppose.

Anyway, I've set all of my soaked clothes out to dry and am happily tucked in bed with my computer, my fat cat, and the last book of the Harry Potter series (finally, I know). Happily I have both popcorn and ice cream on hand.

I got my sonic reducer. Ain't no loser

Greetings from travellers purgatory. I am on hour twelve of my trip east and I have made it no farther than the Delta terminal in Las Vegas. My flight out of LA was two hours late taking off. I was one of twenty people who had forty minutes in McCarren to transfer to an Orlando flight and US Air assured us that they would probably hold the flight for us and even if we didn't make it, we were rescheduled on alternative flights. They failed to mention that they had rescheduled us through Phoenix on the 24th, which is to say, tomorrow. (As an aside, we were also told here that they never hold a flight. The attendant actually said, "Well, they lied to you.")

As it turns out a number of us were able to get seats on a red eye that leaves here at 10:30 and arrives in Orlando at 6am. Those who know me, can imagine how well I will fare meeting my brother, sister, brother-in-law, niece, family friend, and her six year old daughter at 7am or so when we can get from Orlando to Melbourne.

Did I mention the special security screening where they make you walk through this weird CAT-scan-like structure that blows jets of air at you? It's like a waterless jacuzzi standing on end. Anyway, the fact that I was in the airport nine hours early for my flight apparently triggered some terrorist red flag and I was marked for special screening.

In any case, I am excited that it's only a little more than two hours before my flight should depart, and I'll be at my sister's house in about eight hours.

Things I am grateful for:

My ipod shuffle (and Conor's eclectic mixes which are providing most of the contents)
Free wireless at McCarren airport
The Invisible Circus, the Jennifer Egan novel I brought with me
Family like Pat who is willing to drive to Orlando at the ass-crack of dawn on Christmas eve to pick me up
Did I mention my shuffle?
Oh, and the fact that I'm a non-smoker. Big time. If I were still a smoker, it would be a bad, bad, bad scene today.

The woman behind me in line at US Air customer service told me there's this show on the Oxygen network called "Snapped" that's about women who just "snap." I'm here to tell you, that would be me. Add a little withdrawal to this equation and I fear to even contemplate...

Challah back

Okay, I know Hannukah is long since over, but I just got this clip a couple of days ago, and it's totally worth sharing. Merry Jewmas everyone. I hope the Chinese food is delicious and the movie is great.

Site of the day

Waste time at work and donate rice to places like Myanmar, Cambodia, and Nepal at the same time. (Thanks to Donna for the link.)

What the hell is Jesus doing in the House of Representatives?

Today the House of Representatives overwhelmingly passed this resolution:

H. Res. 847
In the House of Representatives, U. S., December 11, 2007.

Whereas Christmas, a holiday of great significance to Americans and many other cultures and nationalities, is celebrated annually by Christians throughout the United States and the world;

Whereas there are approximately 225,000,000 Christians in the United States, making Christianity the religion of over three-fourths of the American population;

Whereas there are approximately 2,000,000,000 Christians throughout the world, making Christianity the largest religion in the world and the religion of about one-third of the world population;

Whereas Christians and Christianity have contributed greatly to the development of western civilization;

Whereas the United States, being founded as a constitutional republic in the traditions of western civilization, finds much in its history that points observers back to its Judeo-Christian roots;

Whereas on December 25 of each calendar year, American Christians observe Christmas, the holiday celebrating the birth of their savior, Jesus Christ;

Whereas for Christians, Christmas is celebrated as a recognition of God's redemption, mercy, and Grace; and

Whereas many Christians and non-Christians throughout the United States and the rest of the world, celebrate Christmas as a time to serve others: Now, therefore, be it

Resolved, That the House of Representatives--

(1) recognizes the Christian faith as one of the great religions of the world;

(2) expresses continued support for Christians in the United States and worldwide;

(3) acknowledges the international religious and historical importance of Christmas and the Christian faith;

(4) acknowledges and supports the role played by Christians and Christianity in the founding of the United States and in the formation of the western civilization;

(5) rejects bigotry and persecution directed against Christians, both in the United States and worldwide; and

(6) expresses its deepest respect to American Christians and Christians throughout the world.

The Roll Call is here. 372 yeas. I don't even know what to say.

And I call myself cultured

The New York Times just released their 100 notable books list for 2007. I have read approximately zero of them, though looking back at previous years' lists is slightly less embarrassing. At least I've read a few 2006ers and 5s. I know that I shouldn't find these sorts of lists depressing, but I do. There simply isn't enough time in the world. You know you're a little depressed when everything seems to remind you of your mortality.

Shepard Fairey: Propaganda remix artist or plaigarist?

Mark Vallen has an interesting article on his site framing Shepard Fairey as a plaigarist.

From Vallen's site: [ Left: Fairey’s plagiarized poster. Right: Original street poster from Czechoslovakia’s, Prague Spring - Artist unknown 1968. The poster depicts a Soviet Red Army soldier in 1945 as a liberator, then as an oppressor in 1968.]

The research on Fairey's iconography is impressive and my hat is off to Vallen for putting the article together and sharing it on his site. That said, I wish the tone were moderated a bit. At times it's hard not to see it as the product of vituperative jealousy. Knowing the little of Vallen's work I do, I don't think that's the case; I suspect Vallens has less of a bone to pick with Fairey's riches and reknown than he does with a postmodern zeitgeist that levels everything to the same meaningless image goulash. I'm sympathetic to that view; I tend to be unconvinced by the third wave of any "ism" (marxism, feminism...) and deconstruction only goes so far. But even with me imputing those good motives to the critique, the article still comes off as too bitter for my taste. Maybe it's the effect of blogs. I am an unapologetic defender of blogs (no kidding), but there's a proper tone and approach for everything and "asshat" isn't a word that should be used outside of a rant (Note: Vallen doesn't use "asshat" anywhere in the article.)

But really, I didn't post about the article to criticize it. I wanted to post about it because it raises some really interesting questions. In this age of remixes and mash-ups, Vallen's article makes me wonder where one crosses the line from re-use and re-contextualizing to just plain stealing. Vallen mentions Roy Lichtenstein by way of contrast, refering to Lichtenstein's "Look Mickey" as an example of a painting that appropriates images but with the viewer's full knowledge of the source material. But then I think some of Lichtenstein's other paintings and they seem more similar to Fairey's to me in that they appropriate comic book panels without crediting the original.

In short, I'm not sure what to make of Fairey's relentless pillaging of images for his own productions. Is it simply plaigarism? Is it postmodernism? Is Fairey some sort of Commie Murakami or is it all just "rebellious patina and ersatz activism"? In my darker moments I wonder if a guy like Fairey really is a kind of radical, packaging fake rebellion and profiting handsomely off of his own particular marriage of leftist iconography and capitalist marketing.

[I'd like to note that in the course of today since first reading Vallen's article, I have come across two stories that are probably each worth their own blog post, but who has time. First, BBC reported a couple of weeks ago on teens who were arrested for stealing virtual furniture in "Habbo Hotel," a 3D social networking site. Apparently people pay real money for this virtual furniture (4000 euros worth in this case) and these kids used a fake site to swipe people's passwords and then take their "stuff." Second, Stockholm's Museum of Modern Art has discovered that its 100-some Warhol Brillo boxes are all fakes, whatever that means.]

Site of the day

This is a pretty nifty new site that gives a quick look at the flight delays out of any given airport. Of course, if you're flying and worried about a delay, you'd be looking up your own flight number and carrier, but this gives a pretty good idea of just how much of a c.f. you're going to find at the airport when you get there. Good information to have.

I've decided I'm goyish this year

I'm sorry but December 4th is just way, way too early for a gift-giving occasion. I have determined to be Christian this year because I need the extra three weeks. Plus I don't know how to make jelly doughnuts, but I do know how to make peppermint meringues and cranberry poundcake so that works out too.

The key to happiness is low expectations

After working myself into a state of utter anxiety yesterday, the biopsy was really just fine. The worst part of the whole procedure is the lidocaine shots (or whatever the numbing agent is). My doctor rocks and the nurses were so nice that they even noticed I'd dyed my hair since my last visit. (They said I was "a breath of fresh air.")

But the really great news is that I was wrong: the nodule is the same as it was a year ago. It's really big, but no bigger than before. Dr. K just said that she was going to recommend an annual biopsy because that's the safest course of action. I should get results in about a week or so, but it seems like I don't have anything to worry about.

So now I am, headache and all, feeling pretty grateful. I guess that's the best thing about a day like yesterday. On a day like today I can say, "Hey, what a great day. I probably don't have cancer."

So very superfly

Via Zefrank comes this link to highlights from the 1975 JC Penny's catalog. Enjoy.

Biopsy...blah

So I have to go get my thyroid biopsied again this afternoon in a couple of hours and even though I know it will be fine (I mean, even if it's not fine, it will be fine, if you know what I mean), I'm nervous as hell. I don't know if it's the time of year (two weeks before my mother's yarzheit) or what, but I'm really antsy. I will be so glad when the thing is over.

A little back story for those who were not following along: Last year when I had my car accident, in the course of scanning my collapsed lung, they discovered a nodule on my thyroid. I had it biopsied about a year ago, and they didn't find any malignancy, but my doctor said I should have an ultrasound every year to make sure it hasn't grown or changed. Well, I guess it's grown or changed (I'll get more real information this afternoon) because she wants to do another biopsy. It's a needle biopsy where they numb your throat and then go in and take a bunch of samples from different spots (there is a sonogram tech there guiding the process too). I can't remember how many samples they take (3? 4?) or that much about it (love my ability to block out trauma), but I know it's more uncomfortable than painful--a pretty simple procedure. Nonetheless you would think I was having brain surgery for how I feel right now.

Yuck. I hate this sort of thing so much.

Correction--How many zeroes in a trillion?

You may have noticed that "cost of the war" ticker in the sidebar of NMTE (you have to scroll down some way to see it). I had wondered a while back whether I should remove it because it just seemed unlikely that we were still spending at such a rate and I would hate to be posting untrue propaganda (true propaganda, on the other hand, I'm fine with). So then Shane forwards me this article which puts the cost of the war at 1.3 trillion dollars or $16,500 for a family of four.

Sickening.

Another ort

I heart zefrank

Who would have guessed?

Chicago is, apparently, the most caffeinated city in the US.

The more things change...

I remember when I was a girl (12?), going on a walk-a-thon for ERA (the Equal Rights Amendment for you youngsters). I proudly wore the tee shirt to school the next week, and my math teacher said, "ERA--what's that 'Earned Run Average'?" I think he was joking to wind me up, and as unfunny as the joke was then, it's even less funny thirty years later (sigh--you are old Mother William) when I read an article like this one summarizing two recent studies by the AFL-CIO and AAUW that both report, yes, you guessed it, women are still paid less than men:

Whatever the occupation, no matter how well-prepared the women, no matter whether they outnumber or out perform their male co-workers, no matter how creative, talented or hard-working they may be, it's the same: Their median pay is sure to be anywhere from $16,000 to $34,000 a year less than that of men holding the same positions.

That amounts to about 40 percent less for female physicians and surgeons, for example, 30 percent less for lawyers, 25 percent less for college and university teachers.

Sigh.

But how do you really feel, Keith?

Keith Olbermann has a scathing opinion piece at MSNBC on the Bush presidency and Daniel Levin. Levin, the acting assistant attorney general who was fired because he called waterboarding torture after submitting to the "technique" himself to ensure he wouldn't be talking out of the side of his neck like I do, gives the lie to the administration says Olbermann. If you're looking for a really articulate anti-Bush rant, click on over the MSNBC and give Olbermann a listen. Here's a sample:

All the petulancy, all the childish threats, all the blank-stare stupidity; all the invocations of World War III, all the sophistic questions about which terrorist attacks we wanted him not to stop, all the phony secrets; all the claims of executive privilege, all the stumbling tap-dancing of his nominees, all the verbal flatulence of his apologists...

All of it is now, after one revelation last week, transparently clear for what it is: the pathetic and desperate manipulation of the government, the refocusing of our entire nation, toward keeping this mock president and this unstable vice president and this departed wildly self-overrating attorney general, and the others, from potential prosecution for having approved or ordered the illegal torture of prisoners being held in the name of this country.

QOTD

From the footer of an email I just received:

Frantic orthodoxy
Is never rooted in faith
But in doubt.
It is when we are not sure
That we are doubly sure.

Reinhold Neibuhr

Quiz of the week

Okay, I'm not usually one for quizzes, but this one is impressive:

Radar's Luxurious spa treatment or mind-numbingly painful interrogation technique?

Christmas is coming

I can't decide whether I should ask for one of these for Hannukah or whether I should get one for K (or both).

Funny, I always thought class was about economics

Apparently not. It seems that "middle-class" is an adjective being used to describe, not a demographic defined by earnings, but by "values." In a story, strikingly titled "More U.S. millionaires are middle-class" Reuters tells us:

New research has found that more and more Americans worth at least $1 million want luxury goods such as yachts but otherwise lead family-focused, work-oriented lives.

...

[T]hese new millionaires adhere to middle-class values, earning their money rather than inheriting it, working 70 hours a week, and choosing neighborhoods based on the quality of schools.

...

"They spend their money on all the things that tie back to family values -- on the health and welfare of their family, career development, and as you move up the ladder they spend on leisure and luxury activities."

The article, though brief, is fascinating for the way that it tacitly imbricates earnings, values, and spending patterns. These people spend money on their families--and one wonders what this means exactly other than the fact that they purposely live in good school districts. And that apparently defines them as middle-class. There's so much wrong with that set of associations it almost feels unsporting to blog about it. So single or childless millionaires are unable to be seen as middle class because they are not "family oriented"? How stinking rich does a family man have to be before he can be seen as rich or upper class rather than middle class? And what about dirt poor people who invest what little they have in family-oriented things? Are they part of the middle class?

You get my drift here.

Though to be my own devil's advocate for a minute, the positive thing that can be said about the article is that it makes explicit what tends to operate under the surface in our culture--that class really is a function of culture as much as cash. My favorite French theorist (everyone should have a favorite French theorist), Pierre Bourdieu, argued as much about French culture/economics. (Note that Bourdieu called himself "left of left," and the tagline of NMTE at present is "left of liberal.") Were I not bone weary and trying to leave work soon, I would give a Cliff's notes version of Bourdieu's Distinction, my favorite book of his, but alas dear readers you are to suffer as a result of my haste and exhaustion. You'll have no such in-a-nutshell paragraph here. And the web is lousy for a decent Bourdieu page. At least I cannot find one. Really what you have to do is read him. It's a commitment, but it's not nearly as punishing as Habermas, I promise.

QOTD

Conor comments below that he apparently is Kucinich, "whoever he is." So this quote of the day is from Kucinich and goes out to Conor.

"The center has shifted in our politics. I'm really at the center. And all the other candidates are to the right of me."
"This Week with George Stephanopoulos", ABC, August 12, 2007 (via Wikiquote)

Where is the "none of the above" option?

Our correspondent in New Mexico just sent us this handy link to USA Today's vote-a-matic. If you're unsure of who you really support, just take this handy short quiz on topics ranging from the Iraq War to gay marriage. Note that there is no question on reproductive rights or on torture. ("Torture of people is a)okay if the person is Middle-Eastern, b)never okay because I hate freedom, c)okay but only if the Middle-Eastern person is wearing a turban, d)not something they should show on TV.")

The tax questions totally skewed my responses. Apparently when you say "scrap it and start over" it automatically adds a bunch of Ron Paul points to your score.

Anyway, have fun.

The emperor's new blocks

Someone at work recently forwarded an email to me from Integrated Play, an organization that helps your workplace with strategic planning, team building, and "culture and change management" through "Lego serious play" workshops. A real steal at a mere $430, methinks.



It's made me start to think that maybe I should come up with some sort of silly putty seminar or an etch-a-sketch workshop. I think there's some real promise there. Charge $500 a head for a half-day, talk about getting buy-in and thinking outside of the box and becoming more nimble... Have existential crisis in six months or so.

Nic the cat

Bad Pussy


This is so much like my cat, it's scary. That paw on the face thing--that's Nic.

You may wonder

What do sparrows and crab lice have in common? (Note that the curator searching for the louse won the biology Ig Nobel four years ago "for his discovery of homosexual necrophilia in mallard ducks.")

Two pop culture questions

Here are my two pop culture questions for the day:

1. Does anyone know when Romero's Diary of the Dead is being released (I know it screened at the Toronto Film Fest, but I just wanna know when can I go see it, y'know, like a normal person.)?

2. What happened to PJ Harvey? Just gave White Chalk a first listen yesterday and...what is up? She's traded in the electric guitars and growly screamy vocals for a piano and a reedy girlish soprano. I figure she must have either gotten clean or fallen in love. Anyone have any insight?

Philly Pic

Real photos by the real photographer on the trip are here.

Oh brave new meme

Okay I just wrote a long post mulling over the reasons for such a silent blog, and then cyberspace ate it. So I am taking that as a sign to a)lighten up and b)get back to work. Some time soon I might post about the 22nd anniversary of me quitting drugs (which was yesterday), my friend Mike dying (which was a little more than 10 days ago), work (which is unrelenting), and my visit to my family (last week). Or I may not post about any of those things.

In the meantime, I leave you with this dystopic movie meme, poached from Annika, because you know I loves me some dystopic movies. The deal is just bold the ones you've seen. (And yes, it is a crime that Westworld is not included.)

1. Metropolis (1927)
2. A Clockwork Orange (1971)
3. Brazil (1985)
4. Wings of Desire (1987)
5. Blade Runner (1982)
6. Children of Men (2006)
7. The Matrix (1999)
8. Mad Max 2: The Road Warrior (1981)
9. Minority Report (2002)
10. Delicatessen (1991)
11. Sleeper (1973)
12. The Trial (1962)
13. Alphaville (1965)
14. Twelve Monkeys (1995)
15. Serenity (2005)
16. Pleasantville (1998)
17. Ghost in the Shell (1995)
18. Battle Royale (2000)
19. RoboCop (1987)
20. Akira (1988)
21. The City of Lost Children (1995)
22. Planet of the Apes (1968)
23. V for Vendetta (2005)
24. Metropolis (2001)
25. Gattaca (1997)
26. Fahrenheit 451 (1966)
27. On The Beach (1959)
28. Mad Max (1979)
29. Total Recall (1990)
30. Dark City (1998)
31. War Of the Worlds (1953)
32. District B13 (2004)
33. They Live (1988)
34. THX 1138 (1971)
35. Escape from New York (1981)
36. A Scanner Darkly (2006)
37. Silent Running (1972)
38. Artificial Intelligence: AI (2001)
39. Nineteen Eighty-Four (1984)
40. A Boy and His Dog (1975)
41. Soylent Green (1973)
42. I Robot (2004)
43. Logan’s Run (1976)
44. Strange Days (1995)
45. Idiocracy (2006)
46. Death Race 2000 (1975)
47. Rollerball (1975)
48. Starship Troopers (1997)
49. One Point O (2004)
50. Equilibrium (2002)

I'm glad I get along with my roommate

No really, this is the Final Final cut

If you browse the network where I work, you'll find files named things like "AR 2007 Final.doc" and "AR 2007 Final 2.doc" and "AR 2007 Final 2 Rev.doc"

That's sort of what Blade Runner reminds me of. I just found out that Ridley Scott is releasing Blade Runner: The Final Cut [no really] this fall. The DVDs go on sale December 18. I say "DVDs" plural because apparently the film comes boxed in a briefcase in five different versions, which I suppose is only appropriate for a movie that helped herald in post-modernity. Supposedly the film screens in NYC and LA October 5, and while I may mock Scott, you know I have just spent 1/2 hour on the Internets trying to find out where in LA it's scheduled to screen. Avast mateys, no luck. Yaar!

What I did find, though, was this list of plot keywords courtesy IMDB. (And I ask you, how can you not like a movie with these keywords?):
Box Office Flop
Broken Finger
Male Female Relationship
Skull Crushing
Future
Owl
Cyberculture
Stripper Dancing With Snake
Regicide
Melancholy
Experiment Gone Wrong
Man Versus Machine
Killer Robot
Murder
Science Runs Amok
Stylized
555 Phone Number
Cyborg
Dystopic Future
Atmospheric
Technology
2000s
Dream Like
Los Angeles California
Neo Noir
Futuristic
Gene Manipulation
Memories
Mercy
Post Modern
Product Placement
2010s
Villainess
Android
Chess
Cult Favorite
Cyberpunk
Detective
Eye
Origami
Replicant
Unicorn
Synthetic Human
Dove
Exotic Dancer
Rain
Run Through Plate Glass Window
Snake
Spinner
Tech Noir
Racial Slur
Dystopian
Flying Car
Bittersweet
Christ Allegory
Compassion
Controversial
Femme Fatale
Gothic
Human Android Relationship
Humanity
Love
Martial Arts
Noir
Tragedy
Artificial Human
Artificially Created Man
Artificially Created Woman
Bounty Hunter
Dream
Escape
Future Noir
Latest World War
Life
Megalopolis
Pray
Synthetic Organic
Evil Robot
Robot
Stabbed In The Hand
Nail Through Hand
Eye Gouging
Dark Hero
Anti Hero
Nihilism
Imagery
Based On Novel
Title Spoken By Character

People really are dumb

Exhibit A

Don't let the door hit you in the ass on your way out

Al Gonzales (as part of his resignation speech):

"Public service is honorable and noble."

George W in accepting Al's resignation:

"Under his leadership, the Justice Department has made a priority of protecting children from Internet predators, made enforcement of civil rights laws a top priority. He aggressively and successfully pursued public corruption and effectively combated gang violence.

It's sad that we live in a time when a talented and honorable person like Alberto Gonzales is impeding from doing important work because his good name was dragged through the mud for political reasons."

May the god I don't believe in smite you both. Really.

Wow. That's all I can say: Wow

I heard this on, I admit, KROQ this morning and was going to search for it to blog it, but I see that Annika beat me to it. Anyway, enjoy. (For the full pleasure of watching all five finalists display their genius click here.)

You know you live in the valley when...

...you're excited because the high is only supposed to be 91 today.

In other news:

1. We returned unscathed from my birthday trip to Big Sur and points-north. Some pictures are here (ah the pleasure of dating a great photographer). I'll post more photos and details about the trip here this evening when I have access to the Trav gallery at home.

2. My birthday was yesterday. I am now 42, which seems so unlikely really. Both in the "I didn't think I'd make it this far" sense and in the "but I only feel 23" sense. Be that as it may, it's true. Had I kids, I venture to say I'd qualify for milf status at this point. Ah well...

3. I am getting ready to go to San Antonio next week for a boot-camp-ish week of work. I know I've been a bad blogger--both here and at blogging.la, but I hope to squeeze out some salient posts before I leave town again. In particular, I have one germinating about why LA museums are stupid sometimes, so look for that at blogging.la tonight or tomorrow.

In the mean time, here is me making my mean face with fangs:

Sad search terms

Someone found my blog by searching Google for mental illness husband whores gambling denial.

That's so sad.

Honey, you should just leave him. Take my word for it.

I did not solicit sex from that officer!

And the hypocrite of the month award goes to Bob Allen, Florida lawmaker and co-chair of McCain's campaign in Florida, who was busted in July for soliciting sex. (I realize that technically makes him the hypocrite of last month, but I just read about the story today, so oh well.) Anyway, Allen's story is that he was scared for his life because the park was filled with sexy scary Black men, so he sought the protection of the big strong guy who was locked in a bathroom stall. Sadly for him, the big strong guy happened to be a cop on a sting:

The officer's report said that after peering over the stall a second time, Allen pushed open the door and joined Kavanaugh inside. Allen muttered "'hi,'v" and then said, "'this is kind of a public place, isn't it,'" the report said.

Kavanaugh wrote that he asked Allen about going somewhere else and Allen suggested going "across the bridge, it's quieter over there."

"Well look, man, I'm trying to make some money; you think you can hook me up with 20 bucks?" Kavanaugh wrote in the report that he had asked Allen.

The Republican lawmaker, the report said, replied, "Sure, I can do that, but this place is too public."

According to Kavanaugh's statement, the officer said, "do you want just (oral sex)?" and Allen replied, "I was thinking you would want one."

It was at that point Allen was arrested.

Ironically, Allen was the Police Union's 2007 Lawmaker of the Year.

In the last session of the Florida legislature he sponsored a failed bill that would have tightened the state's prohibition on public sex. He also has been a supporter of amending the state constitution to ban same-sex marriage and has opposed a bill to curb bullying of gay students.

That's always my strategy when I feel threatened by the large numbers of Black folks milling around, bust in on a big guy in a bathroom stall and offer to give him $20 and a blowjob. That'll work.

I'm awake now

Don't you hate that? You try to go to bed early and a lousy earthquake wakes you up.

A trio of random links

I really will return to regular posting some day. I am still up to my nostrils at work and leaving for a week's vacation largely off the grid this weekend (Big Sur! Yay!). Then it's back in town until the 28th at which point I leave for another week, this time in San Antonio for a work trip--the kind that makes boot camp look mellow.

Aaanyway...

Here are three things that I would say more about if I had time:

1. the outrage link of the day
2. the really stupid link of the day (via Popgadget)
3. the cool site of the day (via Good magazine) from whence comes the World Clock below


Poodwaddle.com

Where it's at

So I have been up to my eyeballs at work trying to finish this albatross book project. We are still on schedule to be "finished" mid-week next week and to print around mid-month. But I am having to remind myself to breathe, both because this puppy has had a three-year gestation so the birth is requiring a lot of "push" and because the rest of life is pretty full-tilt as well. We are preparing for our biennial convention here at the same time (Labor Day weekend in Texas--yeehaw) and that is always mildly manic (and sometimes full-scale loony).

I miss smoking today.

Nonetheless, I managed to escape all that and go to the Hammer last night to see the screening of Inland Empire. (David Lynch did a Q&A afterward.) My one-word (with hyphen) review: self-indulgent. I will post an explication later today (I hope) at b.la.

Okay, back to my cover essay for the albatross.

May I please have some more pie?

The 2008 budget. Two words: It's fucked.



Thanks to Bob for the graphic.

At the counter no less

Have I mentioned that I've become addicted to passiveaggressivenotes.com? So excellent.

Why I'm not a democrat, installment #812

I don't have time to rant about this right now, but I'm too incensed to wait to post the link (which I guess is sort of the impetus behind blogging in a nutshell now that I think about it). In sum, the article is about the Democrats' efforts to appeal to anti-choice voters:

For years, the liberal response to abortion has been to promote more accessible and affordable birth control as well as detailed sex education in public schools.

That's still the foundation of Democratic policies. But in a striking shift, Democrats in the House last week promoted a grab bag of programs designed not only to prevent unwanted pregnancies, but also to encourage women who do conceive to carry to term.

Let's start here and say it's no more the place of such programs to encourage women to have babies than to have abortions. Mind your own fucking business. If a woman is enough of a grown-up to get pregnant, she's enough of a grown-up to make a choice, by herself, without any government mandadated "encouragement."

The article goes on to explain that the Dems are supporting an intiative (The Reducing the Need for Abortions Initiative) that funds
1. couseling that encourages women to have a baby and put it up for adoption rather than have an abortion,
2. an ad campaign letting poor women know that if they are "preparing for birth" they can get healthcare and other resources,
3. more parenting education and medical services for pregnant women,
4. day care at federal job-training centers.

Dare I point out the nauseatingly obvious? If these women are getting job training at federal centers, chances are they will not be able to secure employment that will enable them to afford day care after they are trained or medical care for their now non-fetal children or themselves.

Why do I not consider myself a Democrat? Because I'd like to support a party that has a set of ethics and values that are reasonably consistent and not affected by opinion polls. You've got the election Dems. The Republicans have been stinking up the joint for some years now. It's yours for the asking. You need not bend over and let the conservative sector of the electorate have at you again.

This sort of statement makes me want to set my hair on fire:

From a political perspective, Democratic strategists warn that emphasizing birth control gives voters a bad impression--"that Democrats are just about free love, not morality," said Rachel Laser, an analyst for the progressive think tank Third Way.

For once, could the Democrats not let the other party set the terms of the debate? If the party (the Dems) knew what it actually believed, then maybe they could talk a little about what a hateful and damaging binary, say, "free love/morality" is. But noooo...instead they say "Hey, we're moral! We don't like abortion or sex either. If those slutty poor girls can't learn to keep their legs crossed, they should just resign themselves to making babies those of us who can afford them."

As if that will even somehow help. Political history even in my lifetime supplies abundant evidence that the more the "liberals" capitulate to the conservatives, the more the political landscape shifts right. You don't find common ground this way, Democrats, you just shift the field of debate farther from where your goals should be.

Take this passage from the article for an example:

Rep. Mike Pence, a Republican from Indiana, sees hypocrisy in the fact that much of the new family planning funding will go to Planned Parenthood. The money can't be used to terminate pregnancies--it's for birth control and gynecology services. But Pence says it's ludicrous to send tax dollars to the nation's largest abortion provider in the name of reducing abortions.

"That's not a common ground I can accept," Pence said.

I'm sending a big "Fuck You" out to Mike Pence. And an even more enthusiastic "Fuck You" to the candidates who think it's productive to sit down at a table to discuss compromise with people like Mike Pence.

Okay, I guess I had time to rant about it after all.

I'm now going to excuse myself and get back to work. And try not to spontaneously combust.

Smokers and breast feeders rejoice

Beginning next month, you may take your bags of breast milk and your Bics on the plane.

Cheese lovers, on the other hand, y'all need to be careful. CNN reports:

In one case last September, a couple in Baltimore, Maryland, checked a plastic bag with a block of processed cheese taped to another plastic bag containing a cell phone charger. Earlier this month in San Diego, California, a passenger checked a bag containing two ice packs covered in duct tape. The ice packs had clay in them instead of the normal blue gel.

Terrorists could be testing the system, or could be conducting repeated operations to desensitize security officials, the bulletin says.

You think that if you pass enough blocks of muenster through the x-ray machine it will blind security to a real threat: colby...havarti...cheddar...bomb...cheddar.... Admittedly a brilliant strategy, but the gig is up; the TSA is onto you.

You know you're an addict when...

...you're willing to trade your Camry for a bunch of Claritin D.

More moroseness

I had to elevate this from the comments below (thank you Conor). If you're hankering for more on sad songs, check out this Guardian article from a couple years back. I defy you to read the article without laughing out loud. Reynolds describes The Wall as "the one album you can never listen to in its entirety unless you own a bong the size of a mop" and The Downward Spiral as "the perfect album to crank while you're tossing live hamsters into a blender." Inspired.

Saddest songs

Those of you who also read my posts over at blogging.la (all two of you, I know...) have read that K and I went to see Rasputina this past weekend. The show was really, really great. One of those shows that makes you want to stop at the record store on the way home so that you can purchase the CDs you're missing (which in my case, admittedly is all of them, having only recently been turned on to Rasputina by K).

In the course of the show, they played "Wish You Were Here" by Pink Floyd, and I'm not too cool to admit I had to actively work to keep myself from crying. I think "Wish You Were Here" is one of the saddest songs ever, and I'm not even a Pink Floyd fan. I've never even tried to watch The Wizard of Oz with Dark Side of the Moon playing or anything. But man, that song wrecks me. I'm sure it's not helped by the fact that I wore the grooves off that record when I was about 18-19 and my whole life was a grief-studded disaster. In fact, when I stopped using drugs and started getting my life together at 20, that was among the albums that I declared "off limits" for at least six months (a list that also includes, Closer and Unknown Pleasures by Joy Division; Pornography, Faith, and Seventeen Seconds by the Cure; and Days of Wine and Roses by Dream Syndicate).

When I hear "Wish You Were Here" it brings me back to those years when I felt like everything was being ripped out from under me and everywhere I turned was death and loss. But I think even if I didn't have the association of the worlds most melodramatic late teen years to anchor it, I'd still think it was one of the world's saddest songs.

I got to thinking about it, and I've narrowed the list of the saddest songs ever to three. Along with "WYWH" I'd add Leonard Cohen's "Famous Blue Raincoat" and "Faith" by the Cure. I thought about "Caroline Says" by Lou Reed and a few others, but I think those are the top three. Though "Hallelujah" by Leonard Cohen is another one of those I have to turn off if I'm at work so that I don't start getting all leaky at my desk. Right now, I'm listening to Pet Shop Boys so no fears in that department.

What's on your list?

That's what I call a cry for help

If you've ever been to a 12-step meeting, you know that folks say things like "I know there's a god because otherwise I wouldn't be here" or "I was running late tonight and I really needed a meeting. I said a prayer on my way and found a parking space right out front." While these sorts of statements might make the more skeptical among us raise an eyebrow, this guy has earned his right to believe the universe is trying to tell him something. You wouldn't believe it if you saw it in a movie--crashes into a rehab having OD-ed, with the spike still in his arm.

Fucking classic.

(Thanks to Chris for the forward.)

Holy fucking shit

The astonishing nature of this event will be lost to anyone who is not a Washingtonian of my generation, no doubt. So just take my word for it--it's pretty amazing. It's like a high school reunion for all the people who got arrested and dropped out. Or something.

A confession

I admit, while never having fully understood the lure of Star Trek (in any of its incarnations) I have become a William Shatner fan after he released that album Has Been. I'll go so far as to admit that I find the song "That's Me Trying" genuinely moving. But then it does have Aimee Mann and Ben Folds on board as well.

So if I had cable and watched TV, I would check out Shatner's new show on the Biography channel.

Shot of the day

Provided courtesy of K's phone during yesterday's Trader Joe's outing. It came to me in a file titled nofriends.jpg.

Sports car redistribution program

My friend Jenny says that if she were president she would give citizens the right to slam into one car a year. (It's a corollary to the legal right to punch one person in the nose a year.)

Well, this week I've decided that if I were president, I'd make it illegal to own, say, a Z4 if you're going to consistently drive it under or at the speed limit. I think we should just take sports cars away from people who can't find the gas pedal and give them to those of us who would appreciate them. I will happily swap my Scion TC which they will find gets better gas mileage and doesn't perform that much differently than their Audi roadster when they're both going 35 miles an hour.

(And another thing--If you're in a Jeep, you really don't need to brake when you're going over train tracks. Really. Trust me on this one.)

Deal-breakers

This is just wrong. Sick and wrong:I mean, what does it transform into? And they come in adult sizes no less.

Though, I suppose it could be worse:

I mean, can you imagine finally getting your lust-interest into the sack and pulling off his pants to find that? Who could blame you if you let out a little shriek.

If I weren't going to the Long Beach Flea Market

I would totally be all over Felt Club at the Ukrainian Cultural Center. I went to Bazaar Bizarre there a few years back and it was excellent. Felt Club, you may know, was once-upon-a-time, a monthly gig and now it is twice yearly. This time they have 250 swag bags. Sigh. I hope the fleas are jumping, that's all I have to say.

No rest for the weary

This is terribly depressing:

"...Chronic lack of sleep has an effect on how an animal sleeps," said Fred W. Turek, professor of neurobiology and physiology... "The animals are getting by on less sleep but they do not try and catch up. The ability to compensate for lost sleep is itself lost, which is damaging both physically and mentally."

That just seems so unfair.

Not a William Carlos Williams among them

In the vein of WCW's imagist masterpiece "This is Just to Say," passive aggressive notes.com consists of scanned notes from roommates/bosses/coworkers/etc. on issues such as doing dishes, wiping the toilet seat, or in the case of my personal favorite, being insipid.


I know the site is old news (I read about it quite some time ago), but I am posting about it nonetheless for those of you who haven't had the pleasure because it made me laugh out loud yesterday. Enjoy.

I'll see your ziggurat and raise you...

Remember those evil Iraqi cards the DoD issued to soldiers back in 2003? Well, now we're apparently using playing cards to promote responsible warcraft. A sort of "keep off the lawn" approach to the invasion of a sovereign nation. From Mark Vallens comes news of an Archaeology Awareness deck of cards issued to soldiers in Iraq and apparently Afghanistan as well.


The image comes from Archaeology magazine, who claims it courtesy of the Department of Defense. I for the life of me, couldn't find the story anywhere on the DoD site, and I start to hyperventilate if I poke around there too long so eventually I had to give up before I ended up with my head in a paper bag. The original story apparently comes from the Telegraph, curiously enough. You can see all of the card images at the NavyTimes site. My personal favorite is the five of clubs: "Drive around--not over--archaeological sites." I can just see Private Anderson putting the tank in reverse to avoid the pottery shards. That'll happen.

WOTD

Urban Dictionary provides the word of the day:

iPerbole: Claims that the iPhone will change the world are all part of the iPerbole surrounding the cultish company.

I'm too busy today at work to say much more than that, but for those of you who are slacking, I highly recommend the Urban Dictionary site. It's freaking hilarious. You can lose 45 minutes there without even trying.

Another of my favorites:
hostage lunch: Meal purchased by the company, often pizza, and delivered for employees who bosses require them to attend a meeting or work over their lunch hour.

The only bad thing about the site is when you think you've come up with a super-clever neologism, as I did the other day, you log on to find it's actually a "totally-last-week-logism." Oh well. Nothing new under the sun and all that, I know.

One more reason to disdain the OC

Can someone explain this to me? (And I thought those folks who go swimming in Lake Michigan on New Years were crazy.