Thursday, May 10, 2007

36 minutes of my life I'm not getting back

My conversation with Time Warner today:

Me: I'm moving the first weekend in June and I'd like to transfer my Internet service from my old address to my new address.

TW Lady: Sure. What is your current address?

We spend 10 minutes or so going through all of the information I'd already keyed into the phone tree (address, account number, new address...yada yada).

Me: Ideally I'd like to keep the Internet hook-up at my old address through June 3rd, and start a connection at my new address on the 1st because I'll be back and forth through the weekend. Is that possible?

TW: Well, no. We actually can't disconnect your old service from here. You'd just have to call on the day you want it disconnected.

Me: You can't schedule a disconnect date?

TW: No, because the technician doesn't need to come out for that, and it won't let me do that from here.

Me: Wow. Well, okay.

TW Lady: Oh, dear. It's not letting me actually transfer the account because you're moving from a bulk account, where your building pays for your cable, to a regular individual account.

Me: Well, I know I have two different account numbers--one for the bulk cable TV and the other for individual Internet access. Does that help?

TW: Well, not really. I'm going to have to treat this as a new account. I'm sorry--can you give me your address again?

We spend 5 or 10 more minutes going through all of the information I'd just told her. Again.

TW: Do you have a current RoadRunner email address that you use?

Me: Um. Yeah.

TW: I'm not sure if you'll be able to transfer that.

Me: You're telling me I might not be able to use the address I've had with you all for years even though I'll be an ongoing customer?

TW: I'm not sure. I'm not able to transfer it here because you're switching account types. I need to call the help desk and ask. I'm going to put you on a conference call with them.

Ring Ring.

TW2: Hello this is Sally at Time Warner. How can I help you?

TW1: Hi. This is Naisha at Ontario Time Warner. I have a customer here who is transferring from a bulk account...

TW2: Hello this is Sally at Time Warner. How can I help you?

TW1: Hello Sally this is Naisha at Ontario. Can you hear me?

TW2: Hello this is Sally. I can barely hear you.

TW1: Is this better Sally?

TW2: I can barely hear you.

TW1: This is Naisha at Ontario. I have a customer here who is transferring from a bulk account to a regular...

TW2: A what? A bulk account?

TW1: Yes, she's transferring from a bulk account to a regular...

TW2: What is a bulk account?

TW1: A bulk account where her building pays for her cable to a regular account. She'd like to transfer the same email address. Can you help with that?

TW2: No. I can't do that here. Only tier three can do that.

TW1: Well can you transfer me to tier three?

TW2: No. I can't. I would need authorization and I can't get that.

TW1: Is there a number I can call?

TW2: No. You can only reach them through a transfer. But you need authorization.

Me (unable to contain myself): Unbelievable!

TW1: Who needs to authorize it?


TW1: Hello?

TW1: She hung up on me. She just hung up on me. It's no wonder people hate calling here.

TW1: Okay, I'm going to call the technician here and see if she can help...Oh. I don't know what's wrong with my phone. It's telling me I'm going to lose the connection. Quick--what number can I call you back at?

Me: The cell number you have for me.

TW1: Okay, I'm going to try to...


Cell phone rings.

TW: Hello, this is Naisha at Time Warner. I'm sorry about that. I had to restart my telephone program. Anyway, the tech support person here said you are able to access live chat support?

Me: Yes, I've used that before.

TW: Well, I'm going to give you your new account number. You just need to log onto live chat and tell them your old account number and your new account number and that you want to keep your same email address. You can tell them that you called but they were unable to do it for you over the phone because you're switching from a bulk account to a regular one.

Me: Um. Okay.

TW: Is there anything else I can help you with?

Me: No. Thank you for trying.

TW: You're welcome. Thank you for your patience. And I'm really sorry you had to witness that call. That girl was absolutely retarded. I don't know what was wrong with her.

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